Let’s Get Shady (Poetry)

Lately, I have a lot of words bobbling in my head like a bunch of bobble heads.
I wonder if I can find the words that need to be said.
I wonder how many of my poetic stories are going to go unread.  
Fuck it, because honestly, numbers don’t matter to me when it comes to the chances I take,
I refuse to lie in a bed that I never had an opportunity to make,
So I guess I’ll play some Eminem and keep pushing with this paper and pen.
Let’s spit some fuel on this fire.
Before you throw blame, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Just because you’ve made it in the fast lane, don’t mean shit to me.
There’s a reason I have my own pace; to prevent something similar to this car chase.
But now we are playing bumper cars through a petty fucking rat race.
Time to find a new route from these circles and dead ends in this overly complex maze. 
I’m tired of it, but restless, because of how I have been wired.
A soldier in the battlefield trying to communicate in cypher,
I am bringing my artillery out. Just to show you that I’m a survivor.
How many of y’all am I preaching to? Show me how big the choir is by saving these words like a virus.
If you are ready to reach a new level, raise your hands!
If you are ready, let’s get shady.
If you are ready for me to turn up my voice, stand with me,
My generation lost army.

I’d rather burn down a whole house than be a small candle in a dark crowd.
It’s gotten to the extreme with the built up of these rain clouds.
Storms pass, but I am hearing the pounding of thunder and the sight of lightening.
A sign for it’s to get a bit louder with the demons hiding in my stone cold subconscious.
My denial of my alter ego has pissed her off. She’s about to knock the fucking door in,
and break herself free from the prison sentence I locked her up in.
Believe it or not, I too have an evil twin I have to fight with to tame down my sins.
I guess with my astrology sign, as a Gemini, it’s common to have a second side.
Unfortunately it just takes a lot for me to transition from Miss Jekyll to Miss Hyde.
But when it hits, it’s like a champagne bottle after shaking and pop, there goes the lid.
But enough of explaining all this shit.
I’ve had enough of allowing myself to become a doormat once again.
It sounds repetitive, again and again and again.
But I am going to keep repeating until you feel my pain!
My heart is permanently scarred and stained!
But I am stepping it up, like the mob and laying down my own laws for my fellow, generation lost.
If you are ready to reach a new level, raise your hands.
If you are ready, let’s get shady.
If you are ready for me to turn up my voice, stand with me,
My generation lost army. 
Ever thought no matter how hard you try,
It just ain’t enough for those critiquing your life?
I am done pleasing others that don’t support me in my joys or support my strife.
For all that just tells me to, “Just get over it.” Y’all can just jump off a bridge if you like.
I’ll do what I have to, to get the fuck out of here, even if it is to become a street bum in New York,
I am not made to work in a factory or a corporation. Whether you like it or not,
I’m made to just live my life and tell about it with a rhythmic, lyrical storm.
I have the charisma; I have the factors needed for my skills and art form.
If you really knew the true motivation of my goals…
Greedy for a better life, maybe, but you would be too if you were raised in “Bum-Fucked Egypt”
In a broken home, where there was nowhere to escape, except the back roads,
Which took you to just another reminder of why your home was so emotionally broke.
From alcohol and drug abuse to blood line confusion and the story goes on and on and on.
No surprise, I’m just one of those kids that felt unwanted throughout my childhood.
I didn’t know it would grow from a small story to an infamous book for all who’s often misunderstood.
2014©H.M. Gautsch

My TOP TEN Albums of the Year

It’s coming to the end of the year of 2013. So, as an individual obsessed with music, I thought it was my right to give you a closer look at my favorite tastes in music by displaying my top five albums that either was released in late 2012 or in 2013 and lingered around all year round until this cold December day.

I am a musical inclined fan/supporter who tries to not limit her access to music to the mainstream segments when it comes to music. So tirelessly, I search YouTube videos and watch a number of music shows whether it’s The Voice, The Sing Off, or a number of Awards shows to try and keep up with all works of all genres in the music industry.  

Also, may I share, I have Spotify for an app. The benefits in my eyes is I can make my own playlists, because for me, it’s a challenge sometimes to find a whole album that I can listen to, without skipping tracks. If I find an album or a mixtape that fits this description, that’s when I purchase it from Best Buy, Amazon, or any other location it’s available. 

Let’s get it started: 
Top TEN Albums of 2013
     1.       Marshall Mathers LP2 – Eminem
The rap God is back! You can’t deny the legacy. Being released in November, he came out with a more in depth and relevant album, like as, his Recovery album. Haters are going to say he got soft, but I feel his songs and his lyrics show not only has he grown and matured in music, but he also has grown in life through his experience. My top track on this album is, “Headlights” f/ Nate Ruess.

2.       Sway – Blue October
One of two artists I go to with my ears wide open (other than Eminem) when I start building anger and resentment in my heart for those who did me wrong. Also, another artist who has shown through their music how they have grown. My top track on this album is, “Angels in Everything.”

      3.      Crazy World – Boys Like Girls
Boys Like Girls haven’t has much publicity like most of the artists I am revealing on my top ten albums list, but this album is amazing through and through. If you like Pop/Rock, this album is a fun album. It is a mix of inspirational music and love songs. The two themes I am sappy for in the music world. My top track on this album is, “Stuck In The Middle.”

4.       Bad Intentions – Dappy
You either heard him or you haven’t. Dappy is a UK-based rapper that delivers something different and stronger than a lot of the American rappers do. That’s just my opinion. Dappy, in his very own way, reminds me of Drake. He can sing, he can rap, and he isn’t afraid to drop his filter. Dappy also tells his stories and struggles through his music. My goal in life. Dappy is also one of the main reasons I have been reaching out to other artists from other countries. Why limit yourself with boundaries. Makes things boring. His song, “Bad Intentions” is my top track on this album.
      5.       Tuskegee – Lionel Richie
Lionel was one of the first artists with his song, “All Night Long” that I started karaoke with. Country is my second favorite genre behind Hip-Hop of course. This collaboration album with the top country artists in the music industry will speak for itself. Lionel surely still has it going for him! “You Are” f/ Blake Shelton is my top track for this album.

 6.    The Heist – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
How can I NOT put the album that is the most relevant to my very own life on my top ten albums list? I would also agree Macklemore is starting to get over played a bit, and that’s why he’s #6 and not higher. Also, that’s where the choice to stick to the mainstream radios, or be your own radio DJ comes in. The great thing about having Spotify and I Tunes is I control the radio play and the mix. My top track on this album is, “Neon Cathedral.”
      7.       Spark Seeker – Matisyahu
Not only do I not segregate other nations music, I will not segregate another religion’s artist. American Jewish Reggae artist, Matisyahu, has always been a genius and been true to his music. I also support his personal movement to not just bend for other religions, and expressing himself to be more spiritual and not strict to his own religion. That’s a sign of an open heart. My top track on this album is, “Live like a Warrior.”
8.       Strange Clouds – B.o.B
B.o.B isn’t afraid to step out of the stereotype of Hip-Hop. He gives people a voice from a new perspective of society and through his music; he shows that not all hip-hop artists are limited to the street life. He shows his education, lifestyle, and personal thoughts through his music. My top track on this album is, “Just a Sign” f/ Playboy Tre.
      9.       #3 – The Script
The Script, originally from Ireland, is one of my top pop/rock bands right now. I think the album #3 is a brilliant album with the mix of lyrics and instrumentals itself. This album also reveals a lot of songs that relate to my #OneLove mission as well. My top song on this album is, “No Words.”
10.   Get Your Heart On! – Simple Plan 
Simple Plan, originally from Quebec, Canada, is one of my all-time favorite punk rock bands. I go to their music when I am feeling lonely. I got this CD shortly before I got the news of one of my closest friends, Jon, passing away from battling terminal cancer, for one-two years, right before Christmas last year. I still shed a tear from time to time when I hear my top track on this album, “Gone Too Soon.”
Until next time….