Let’s Get Shady (Poetry)

Lately, I have a lot of words bobbling in my head like a bunch of bobble heads.

I wonder if I can find the words that need to be said.
I wonder how many of my poetic stories are going to go unread.  
Fuck it, because honestly, numbers don’t matter to me when it comes to the chances I take,
I refuse to lie in a bed that I never had an opportunity to make,
So I guess I’ll play some Eminem and keep pushing with this paper and pen.
Let’s spit some fuel on this fire.
Before you throw blame, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Just because you’ve made it in the fast lane, don’t mean shit to me.
There’s a reason I have my own pace; to prevent something similar to this car chase.
But now we are playing bumper cars through a petty fucking rat race.
Time to find a new route from these circles and dead ends in this overly complex maze. 
I’m tired of it, but restless, because of how I have been wired.
A soldier in the battlefield trying to communicate in cypher,
I am bringing my artillery out. Just to show you that I’m a survivor.
How many of y’all am I preaching to?
Show me how big the choir is by saving these words like a virus.
If you are ready to reach a new level, raise your hands!
If you are ready, let’s get shady.
If you are ready for me to turn up my voice, stand with me,
My generation lost army.

I’d rather burn down a whole house than be a small candle in a dark crowd.

It’s gotten to the extreme with the built up of these rain clouds.
Storms pass, but I am hearing the pounding of thunder and the sight of lightening.
A sign for it’s to get a bit louder with the demons hiding in my stone cold subconscious.
My denial of my alter ego has pissed her off. She’s about to knock the fucking door in, and break herself free from the prison sentence I locked her up in.
Believe it or not, I too have an evil twin I have to fight with to tame down my sins.
I guess with my astrology sign, as a Gemini, it’s common to have a second side.
Unfortunately it just takes a lot for me to transition from Miss Jekyll to Miss Hyde.
But when it hits, it’s like a champagne bottle after shaking and pop, there goes the lid.
But enough of explaining all this shit.
I’ve had enough of allowing myself to become a doormat once again.
It sounds repetitive, again and again and again.
But I am going to keep repeating until you feel my pain!
My heart is permanently scarred and stained!
But I am stepping it up, like the mob and laying down my own laws for my fellow, generation lost.
If you are ready to reach a new level, raise your hands.
If you are ready, let’s get shady.
If you are ready for me to turn up my voice, stand with me,
My generation lost army. 
Ever thought no matter how hard you try,
It just ain’t enough for those critiquing your life?
I am done pleasing others that don’t support me in my joys or support my strife.
For all that just tells me to, “Just get over it.” Y’all can just jump off a bridge if you like.
I’ll do what I have to, to get the fuck out of here, even if it is to become a street bum in New York,
I am not made to work in a factory or a corporation. Whether you like it or not,
I’m made to just live my life and tell about it with a rhythmic, lyrical storm.
I have the charisma; I have the factors needed for my skills and art form.
If you really knew the true motivation of my goals…
Greedy for a better life, maybe, but you would be too if you were raised in “Bum-Fucked Egypt”
In a broken home, where there was nowhere to escape, except the back roads,
Which took you to just another reminder of why your home was so emotionally broke.
From alcohol and drug abuse to blood line confusion and the story goes on and on and on.
No surprise, I’m just one of those kids that felt unwanted throughout my childhood.
I didn’t know it would grow from a small story to an infamous book for all who’s often misunderstood.
2014©H.M. Gautsch

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