So as I let my life sit in for a minute, I can’t help but stare at the cover of my book and think how blessed I am for the four individuals who are helping me live my dreams. Before I go on with my story, I want to throw a special shout out by name. I don’t think I can thank you all enough. Ever. So, thank you to my book cover designer, Don Schlising, for taking the time to help me bring my vision to life. I don’t think the book cover can get anymore bad ass than what we have brought to life. To my editors, Lena Plaut, Julia McCune, & foremost Paul Morairity Jr. Thank you all for supporting me unconditionally through the years you have known me and for taking the time to edit over a hundred something poems. Also thank you to those friends, family and fans out there that keep me pushing towards my dreams of writing and the rest of the pieces that falls into place in this puzzle called life.
My poetic memoir is a collection of my poetry throughout the years that reveal my darkness, light, happiness, tears, and sadness. I have a mix of poetry from lyrical, short, and long poems. Also my poems express my passion to fight my diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder and my chronic depression. When you read my poetry, it’ll reveal the hell I been through, through my short time on this Earth. The bottom line here though is, I am still here, walking. I didn’t give in to suicide and I hope my book can change other people’s insight on their struggles and lives as well as it did with mine. All is in chronically order as well to see the progress and depress of my life. The common cliche of life is, everyone has a story to share. Unfortunately, not everyone takes the time to share theirs. Well, I decided to be one of the few that use creativity to share my stories, my life, and my dreams to the rest of the world.
The poetic memoir is just a small taste of what is to come for future writing and publishing. I also have an actual memoir in the works for my life. The reasons for sharing my story is to find the light in others and allow them to find a new faith within themselves when others aren’t always there. I may not be able to open my arms, physically, to all who struggle with their current life situations, but know that I will always have open arms in a spiritual matter.
With my trials and tribulations in life I’ve been beaten down numerous times. Each time I have been knocked down and beat down, I rise again and my flames get higher. My wings spread wider like a phoenix. I could have gone many routes with my book cover from a griffin, archangel, wolf; however the phoenix remains bright in my mind and heart out of all the ideas I have had come across in my unorganized membrane. The quote on my cover is one of my all-time favorite stanzas from my poem, “Light.” Life isn’t far from easy, however it is worth living and fighting for on this battlefield we call our temporary home. I will leave with one other favorite stanza from my poem, the influence of the title of the book itself, “Evolution of Oneself:”
“It’s not the destination, but the journey itself.
That’s the goal.
For the true definition of our existence,
is not to lose or find ourselves,
but of creating and discovering ourselves.
That’s the evolution of oneself.”
– H.M. Gautsch ’13