We Can’t Heal Alone

2db2aa9b-ca54-43e2-8fe5-0bdf3df5cce6A special someone in my life told me last night that, “We can’t heal alone…” and that’s been sticking with me all day. He is right, so for those who sincerely been loving and supporting me, if it seems I am taking you for granted, I deeply apologize. I promise, I am not.

Survival mode is a pain to climb out of after decades of fighting demons alone. Figured I switch up and express my gratitude, instead of allowing my mind to resort to the worse case scenario in my position. You are appreciated beyond words.

…and for those who are trying to take efforts beyond measures to ensue my accomplishments and success, I am trying to open myself, but the leap of faith is my current biggest fear in my life, especially of having crashed and burned by someone I took a leap of faith on fairly recently. I’m still healing…

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Just In Case Someone Needs To Hear This

JUST IN CASE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS:

Some days are very frustrating in the healing process and forgiving yourself for your past. Especially when you are alone or feel you’re alone in this life.

I frustrate myself most as my own worse enemy.

It’s easy to fake happiness when in reality everything in your life is on fire. Friends and family become strangers, therefore you’re not sure if you are capable to trust those who simply want to love and care for your heart. You work day in and day out to extinguish the flames around you.

Why alone? Cause most people don’t give a shit about your life or your story. Point, blank. However, as I grow older and continue my healing process, I come to the realization that it doesn’t matter. You cannot heal yourself on other’s expectations and other’s schedules. Why do I know this so well?

I grew up and still experience an environment where my emotions or my lifestyle doesn’t matter. I grew up where nobody has ever put me first or respect my voice.

Results in this are: one, I also have never put myself first, and two, I’ve crashed and burn like a broken record repeatedly by putting everyone else before my own.

For majority of the people in my life, walls and boundaries are set and I use two personalities (Yay, Geminis!), the strong, quiet personality and/or the goofy/high energy personality to help deteriorate any possible negative energy disguised in human form.

The consequence, genuine people in my life could easily come and go by misunderstanding me as a spiritual being.

As a spiritual being, I’m training myself to a different resolution. I’m learning to read people’s energy, rather than resort to the assumptions that everyone is bad juju.

It is a challenge for your heart and mind. Especially for those who travel a similar path like mine, but trust me when I say it gets better as you start creating a barrier that’s actually healthy.

You slowly learn to not put up with the bullshit that’s toxic and the genuine people see you for who you truly are as a beautiful, gifted soul. Most importantly, you start loving yourself and finding your confidence.

But how do we know we are progressing in our self healing and self love? Life starts to magnify you towards your goals and dreams in life and love.

💜🦄🖤

Focused (Poetry)

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It’s that time again.
Another banger, another rhyme,
Another lesson in this poetic mind.
With that hip-hop vibe.
I’m focused a hundred percent,
Like I’m popping in that Ritalin.
No, really, I’m popping that Ritalin.
To tame my A.D.D. habits.
Because God forbid if I ever get side tracked
Once again.
This is my calling.
To empower my weaknesses with my strengths.
I’m focused.
This is my moment.
I’m focused.
This is your only notice.
Artists respect this.
Because I know how to keep it trill,
Respectful and true.
I speak what’s on my mind,
But first, I listen, comprehend,
And understand other walk of lives before I stand.
Before I speak my views and experiences.
This is my business.
If I haven’t walked in your shoes,
I keep it hush; I don’t act like I know.
Because I don’t need to act a fool,
To fit in with any kind of crew.
I’m focused.
This is my moment.
I’m focused.
This is your only notice.
I keep it positive, I shine my own light.
I stay focused in my own fight.
I’m ready for the final round,
I’ll return to use my mixed martial arts exercise.
To squash those who want to criticize.
Because I am too focused.
To allow anyone to try to tell me how to live my life.
I am too focused to live any kind of lie.
It’s time to turn up the levels,
It’s time to maximize.
You can call me a pesticide.
I’m focused.
This is my moment.
I’m focused.
This is your only notice.
2014©H.M. Gautsch

My Own Personal Wisdom, Humor, & Inspirational Quotes

I wanted to share my quotes I’ve written in the past year or so to my audience beyond the Facebook whelm and into the world, where ever you may have access to me.  What better way to first express them than through my own blog site? Reaching out to individuals who may be having a bad day, or enjoy paying it forward like as I do, is the purpose I have discovered. So I continue on with my own personal wisdom I have occupied throughout my short life hood I have already experience. This post will also give you a feel of the direction of my poetry and messages I want to expose to the rest of the world as the mainstream continues to reveal the chaos. I hope you enjoy the quotes, humor, and inspiration. I also hope it motivates your view on your life and how you see the world.

    • Life: It’s all about your journey. The path you find is of multiple directions. You will come across a number of people throughout your life, but very few, the true, will stay in your corner. Others will try to tear your heart apart. Those will also try to poison you with hatred. Stay guarded, yet expect very little from the majority that pass you by. Love those who fill you with life, love, & laughter. Prevent the negative emotions to become unstable by surrounding yourself with positivity. Hold your ground. Think before you speak. Relax your tensions before you react. But most importantly, go out to the world with an open mind, open arms, and understanding. Live life fearlessly.

 

  • I don’t care if I am touching the lives of a hundred or just one person. As long as I am touching lives, period. I am my own doing my thing, regardless and no one can stop me. I have full control of the wheel.

 

 

  • I’m switching “issues” over to “blessings” from this day on. Without struggles and pain, wouldn’t be vulnerability. Without vulnerability, wouldn’t be my artistic abilities.

 

 

  • All I can say to you is, from my experience, write from the heart. You can’t go wrong. Nothing wrong with putting a little more influential topics out into this fragile world. It’s an amazing feeling when people come to you and tell you how you have influenced their life! It’s good fuel for your purpose in life.

 

 

  • Artists are never on time, but always fashionably late.

 

 

  • Revelations:

 

 

  • Education is valid for the topics you’re passionate about.

 

 

  • Media:I don’t care which side of the fence you are about the situation, bottom line, we can’t make a horse drink the water even if we lead it to an ocean. Society is changing daily. We need to adjust to the change and learn to also adjust to those who aren’t on the same expressway as some of us are on. Not everyone will ever agree on one religion, on one political stance, on one social issue, we need to accept the diversity and cultures. America is known as a melting pot, meaning not everyone is going to agree on each others lifestyles. We just need to learn to respect them. Not saying … was in the right, but the media and people feeding into the unnecessary dilemma aren’t making it better either.

 

 

  • The pursuit of happiness doesn’t happen until you are firmly ready from within.

 

 

  • The Arctic Vortex, eh? Can we also get the polar bears and penguins!? How about some walruses?

 

 

  • You’d be a fool if you give in on those days you want to just hang up your towel. Look within and look for those you are touching with your inspiration. Look for those who remind you and appreciate you and take the time to keep reminding you of your purpose in life. The best is yet to come. Stand up!

 

 

  • I try to find the good, even in the worst of the worst situations.

 

 

  • Observations:

 

 

  • I wish humanity would just stop the nonsense of arguing and hating on each other just because they don’t agree on one small thing. Learn to get along!

 

 

  • If you see success in my future, the same success I am striving for, it’s because you all kept believing and loving me.

 

 

  • I will live a long and prosperous life. Crap.

 

 

  • Struggles:

 

 

  • When you find the words from the heart and exploit it, never can you go wrong.

 

 

  • Teamwork: I don’t always promote myself, I promote who I consider is my team. Without a team, without a support base, you are nothing. In order to build one, you have to go out and network and bond with people who believe in you as much as you believe in them.

 

 

  • God and Mother Earth has a way with karma. Be cautious with what you give out into the world. What you give is what you get.

 

 

  • I don’t always say the right words, but trust…

 

…My heart is always in the right place.

 

  • Mirror:

 

 

  • Focused on the present moment, the right now, the day known as today. Come what may, because I’m living for me and what’s good for my heart.

 

 

  • My tire got nailed this morning and not in a good way. The rubber broke.

 

 

  • Chronic Illness:
  • Be yourself. The right people, who belong in your life, will love you for it.

 

 

  • If you want to remain in pursuit of your happiness, give without any expectations. Expectations destroys the heart.

 

 

  • Evolution:

 

 

  • I am not one to sugar coat shit when it comes to advice, because my life has never been sugar coated. If you are offended by what I say even if it is with good intentions, then maybe it’s true. Think.

 

 

  • The biggest downside of being too independent with life and not having a boyfriend is not having the pleasure of randomly receiving flowers. Gah! Poop!

 

 

  • Dear Sweatpants & Hoodies,

 

Thanks for always being there for me.

Sincerely,
Sexy And I Know It, But
To Lazy To Show It

 

  • Beauty: Remember this key factor in life and the sun will brighten your aura and let you shine too.

 

  • We create originality. Copy cats not allowed!

 

  • My life is like a Babe Ruth candy bar. It can be a bit nutty sometimes.

 

 

  • Must be willing to open your mind & skill set to achieve greatness.

 

 

  • Confessions: Singing for karaoke is something I’m use to. it comes naturally for me. But when it comes to reading my own poetry on a mic, I get flustered sometimes. There are no words that can explain the adrenaline and butterflies in my internal system that arouses when I am on stage about to read my own piece that I have written fully from the heart. None the less, it’s still a beautiful exposure to get the words that tell my stories out to my audience.

 

 

  • Art is my therapy for the tribulations I have experienced in my life.

 

 

  • Changes are necessary when it comes to one’s happiness.

 

 

  • Promises:

 

 

  • Dear men-er-boys;

 

Talk with your mind, not with your penis. You are confusing your heads again. You must have forgotten you were talking to a woman.

 

  • Changes: Evolving and growth, it’s a lifelong experience if you want life to be filled in full.

 

 

  • Keep your friends close & your enemies closer. False! That’s one way to live a miserable life, having to always watch your back. Surround yourself with the right people who love you and no one can drown you or stop you from your mission in life.

 

 

  • Sobriety:

 

 

  • Keep smiling. You never know what your smile can do for a person.

 

 

  • Don’t confuse my shyness with insecurities, because I’ll guarantee if there is one thing I’m secured about, it’s myself and my character.

 

 

  • I went from a “child” who thought she knew everything to an “adult” who is curious to see how we can change the world into a better place. Don’t talk about wanting the world to change if you don’t do nothing about it. Walk the walk, my friends. Walk the walk.

 

 

  • The only reason why humanity is “cursed” with war and violence is because we believe it. Once we believe in love and peace as a whole, the world will change its ways.

 

 

  • I wish I could run as fast as I can wash, rinse, and sanitize dishes.

 

 

  • Facebook wants me to post my address to update my contact information.

 

My reply: Fuck you.

 

  • Forgiveness: Through my short life, I have accepted that we all make mistakes. I have made a shit ton, fore we are only human. To truly live in prosperity, you need to learn forgiveness through and through, not just with others who have done you wrong, but also with yourself and the wrongs you have done or you will live your life with misery and that is not fun. I also learn to hold the reigns on my heart to a point to allow myself to give love to this world, but at the same time, be cautious as to not have such high expectations. High expectations become high disappointments. Words are words, if you see her gestures are thorough with love and support in your relationship, than you know. Actions and honesty should stand out with the apologizes to know who is true to their heart.

 

 

  • We can’t always have what we want. We can’t always have what we wish for. But we can be content with the life we have.

 

 

  • I’m like a magnet, gays are my refrigerator. I just pfft.. stick right on.

 

 

  • Influence: It’s not about the fame. It’s not about a face to the name. It’s about having a positive influence on a person’s life like my heroes have done for me. Even if I’m only influencing one person, it’s still better than none. Not everyone wants to hear your stories, but that doesn’t mean for you to stop telling them. It’s not up to the critics on what you have to give out into this world, it’s up to you. All I ask is to stay true to yourself.

 

Talk (Poetry)

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Words aren’t with value,
If actions don’t follow.
I’m far from perfect,
But my few promises are never hollow.

Society consumes its addiction,
Of hatred and negative vibes.
It doesn’t matter of intentions,
It’s the same patterns I find.

I rather be around no one,
Than be around the chaos.
For people are so quick to judge,
Even for those who are pathos.

I love to express my emotions,
But society these days make it very hard.
I will always have the upper hand,
For I continue to hold the trump card.

You can talk or type your words,
Without skipping a beat.
But if you can’t walk the walk,
How is it we are supposed to believe?

So play all the games you want,
I refuse to go down without a fight.
I will continue to create my Utopia,
Through my heart, soul, body, and mind.

With or without you,
I will continue this fulfilling mission.
There is no turning back,
For I continue to listen to my intuition.

©H.M.Gautsch