Sonnet #1 (Poetry)

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If not joy, it shall be of annoyance,

With the circular notion of this life.

Like at a world’s end on a voyage,

I’ll die without the title of one’s wife.

But I rather have fortune through trials,

Rather than fake value grown on trees.

I’ve walked in these shoes, a million miles.

I’ve come too far to return the old me.

If not annoyance, it shall be of joy,

With the addition of motivation.

When I look back at every girl and boy,

That I’ve influenced out of temptation.

So I’ll continue to polish and shine,

I refuse to give up on confinement.

©H.M. Gautsch

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Fatherless (Poetry)

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A bastard raised by a single mother,
And a bachelor who transitioned,
To my stepfather.
But that was never enough for me.
For my mind to became distortion,
By my curiosity.
After the discovery,
Of the unknown second candidate.
Questions arise in my thoughts.
All for the blank mystery
Of my birth certificate.
Who? Where? What? When? Why?
If he knew of my life,
Would he be proud of me,
Attempt to make up for lost time?
Or would he be in disgust
At the roads I chose to take,
And disown me anyway?
As I continue to grow,
Expose myself to the World
My mind continues to wander.
I sit back and try to understand,
How can one man or woman,
Just walk away from an innocent child.
The anger and resentment diminishes,
But I haven’t forgotten,
About my unanswered prayers.
Growing up fatherless,
Brings many effects to one’s home.
Don’t allow your child to grow up alone.
I feel lost not knowing,
The second half of my genetics.
Who? Where? What? When? Why?
The same questions haunt my dreams,
Brings me the life I only fantasize.
But that’s not enough for me to be satisfied.
2014©H.M.Gautsch

Talk (Poetry)

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Words aren’t with value,
If actions don’t follow.
I’m far from perfect,
But my few promises are never hollow.

Society consumes its addiction,
Of hatred and negative vibes.
It doesn’t matter of intentions,
It’s the same patterns I find.

I rather be around no one,
Than be around the chaos.
For people are so quick to judge,
Even for those who are pathos.

I love to express my emotions,
But society these days make it very hard.
I will always have the upper hand,
For I continue to hold the trump card.

You can talk or type your words,
Without skipping a beat.
But if you can’t walk the walk,
How is it we are supposed to believe?

So play all the games you want,
I refuse to go down without a fight.
I will continue to create my Utopia,
Through my heart, soul, body, and mind.

With or without you,
I will continue this fulfilling mission.
There is no turning back,
For I continue to listen to my intuition.

©H.M.Gautsch

Solitude (Poetry)

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A smile, a socializing soul,
Loud music, food junkie;
A discovery of solitude,
A peaceful breach
Away from the urban ruckus.
Calm and collected,
In a personal twilight zone.
The rhythm of the bruised heart,
Flowing in tune and idolizing
With the currents.
Inspiration glows within.
My mind is put at ease.
Harmonizing sounds,
Of living creatures;
Minimizes the noises of demons,
Inside and out.
Paddling to stay ahead of the crowd,
Gnats, and mosquito.
Zig-zagging around tree branches 
That swim until exhaustion,
sink into the darkness,
Or rests ashore a sand bar.
Apparent, nightmarish for the city slick,
But a joyful challenge for one
Who’s passion unfolds with the wild.
In nature a secret revealed
For a spiritual measure.
2014©H.M. Gautsch

A River Flow (Poetry)

I’m waiting for the day

I fall head over feet;

Like I did with you.

(No names necessary.)

I’m waiting for the moment

I can erase my fears;

Change my world view.

(No explanation, really.)

Still,

I feel the same.

Deep within,

I can never change.

I look back and notice,

Progression to where…

I need to be in my life.

(I know I’ll get there.)

I look in the present,

I can’t sense a thing…

The strength of my own vice.

(Over exposing my own thoughts here.)

Still,

I feel the same.

Deep within,

I can never change.

This is what I know,

No matter what is brought’n

For tomorrow,

Nothing can change me.

(Time. Money. Relationships. Success.)

Except for me, myself, & I.

So let this life ride.

No control. A river flow.

2014©H.M. Gautsch