Here’s what I can’t comprehend with America today. The America I THOUGHT I served. The America I THOUGHT I was taught:

Y’all didn’t have an uproar when Kaepernick was sitting on the bench during the national anthem, but when a Veteran… Yes! A combat veteran. It was not progressive liberals that first noticed and supported Colin Kaepernick. It was a white cis-born straight man, who legitimately served and fought in our modern wars that sat down and listened to Kaepernick and his reasons for not standing for the National Anthem.

Note: I point out labels since everyone wants to stereotype and define one another all day, every day and keep categorizing and segregating when in reality, nothing in this world is honestly black or white, so seriously America shouldn’t be either…


It was Kaepernick’s stance for inequality, a systematic government that has been built to legalize oppression, especially for people of color, who continue to be brutally murdered by opened racists. Point blank.

Here’s a thought, use the same mentality you have in your belief in God that you would of racism… just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Rather than the Veteran screaming at Kaepernick that he’s a piece of shit and unpatriotic, he instead found compassion and empathy, as well as, stayed humane and asked for a compromise for both worlds by asking Kaepernick to kneel to, at least, honor those who served and sacrificed for this nation rather than sit and be fully disrespectful.

It was then when the conservatives and misinformed got all emotional and went fucking crazy and had an uproar. The fact y’all still choose to be blinded by today’s societal issues and continuous murders of minorities. Even having the knowledge of our history of slavery and genocide, and choose to be blinded by the repeating of yesterday’s mistakes, and the snake-like built of our government today over the decades.

I honestly thought this country was better than that, but I was wrong and have not been able to find peace about it considering everyday I have loved ones who have to live in a war mentality and PTSD like myself, when they should not even have to. They really shouldn’t.

In this day and age, we have a whole generation that are products of their environment that want to break their generational curses that has existed long enough for over 400 years, but you are blinded by the falsified freedoms they have had since the Civil Rights Movement, but we all know that that’s an illusion.

The difference with the continuous mentality between me and white veterans like myself and people of color in general is that we chose the path we followed as soldiers. When I enlisted, even under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” umbrella, I did it to risk my life for ALL the people and their freedoms, selflessly.

These particular individuals didn’t choose their skin color nor the thug image that arrogant individuals refuse to see past due to the devil’s advocate of the entertainment industry that promotes this imagery, and of course with the support of the lack of freedom that was built within the system, especially for African Americans and Native Americans.

When is enough enough? Is another Civil War the answer for those who refuse to speak up or stand for their equals? How did a mass group of people, who’s ancestors were once immigrants themselves, decide they were greater and more superior from those who were original citizens and/or forced upon these lands?

When can we actually accept others’ differences, especially after the fact we had various wars over the 400 years of our existence as a nation for these particular reasons. When is the majority of the white population going to finally see that they are not superior to the rest of humanity?

And if you get done with those recommendations and what to learn more and continue to educate yourself, please check the following link for more resources out: Anti-Racism Resources.

Even though my adjustment to civilian life has been a struggle, due to being consumed in today’s society by so many political opinions, and truths being revealed… it certainly has been a hard pill to swallow…

Working DFac (fDining Facility) Guard

While most people gather, illegally and legally, I’ve kept my distance and silence, as well as decompress my mind, to gather my thoughts over this weekend as it reminds me of two things…. 1) my best friend at the time being KIA on June 3, 2007 (three days before my 21st), and the fact that tomorrow is legitimately my fifth year anniversary from being medically retired from the military.

Yet, there is still a pride in me for serving this country for the purpose of the bigger picture and not for myself, but for ALL the people in this country who chooses not to or simply can’t for medical purposes…

I continue to look at the positive things of serving like having the opportunity to embrace and experience so many various cultures and individuals through the battle buddies I’ve met over the years and the various global contractors and local people that I had the opportunity to befriend and worked with while in Iraq.

Local Interpreters, Taji 🇮🇶

Also, without serving, I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today nor accomplish the things I’ve accomplished over my adult life…

While the mass crowd defines us a basic stereotype of typical sheep and murderers, I will not let those voices define me nor the good-hearted people I have come to serve and meet, who take the call to risk their lives for their own beliefs of serving…

What comes down to my reality vs. their reality, is that we all have a story, we all have educational value to share through our livelihoods and experiences, and we all can learn from one another… we just need to be able to have an open mind to learn from those who haven’t experienced a similar life than our own and that’s where empathy comes in…

Unfortunately, the majority of us, as humans, struggle with having empathy for the rest of the world, if not, our own country and that’s why we are in the “Divided States of America” we are currently in.

Super Bowl Party. |Chicago Vs Indianapolis|
Go Manning Go!

The relief of today was fulfilled with distractions and productivity while distancing myself from the crowds and social media, while I regain my attentiveness and confidence with my purpose and knowledge in the world during my five-day weekend and I’m only half way through.

Goofing off before meeting
the Iraqi Army General. 😳

Also, what helped me through today is having one of my battle buddies that I relate to reaching out to me today with his music playlist and amazing descriptive reflection of his day, because he knows how much music and storytelling gets me through difficult things.

Thank you, Deneen, and stay well. 👍🏻

As Governor Evers extends our “Safer at Home” order through Memorial Day Weekend for everyone here in Wisconsin, I figured I take the time to write my day to day work as an essential employee and shifting my job tasks as the new normal is reveled within our work environment as a closed facility.

It’s crazy how a pandemic and quarantine/social distancing life has unofficially changed my day to day job as a security officer in a library environment. Yes, I still do the usual security rounds to check on the building and the equipment to make sure it doesn’t go amiss, but there is only so much I can do when there is no patron to control or look after within the building, and that can get bored rather quickly.

There are other tasks that I continually have to updated throughout the system with lost and found and our bulletin boards that promote events/tutors/etc… but again, when there is no events happening or patrons losing items within the library, it’s all become one and done for me to work on.

I am sure by now some of you are wondering, well then what the hell do you do all day when most of your work is provided based on the traffic of patrons?

Honestly, that’s where my capabilities come in. During this pandemic I have been cross training, more likely crash training, into other roles including circulation (book returns), and helping scanning for the Interlibrary Loans from requests of chapters and articles provided by our libraries on UW Campus to help assist academic staff and students for their online classes.

Even though this is temporary for me, I am grateful to be able to stay flexible with learning and the essential position I hold, so I can ensure the safety of my colleagues within my library system and allowing them to stay home and work and/or taking care of their families during this time; this opportunity in disguise is also allowing myself not to induce into my insanity by being coupe up in my bedroom at the apartment I reside in for too long and limiting my work to just online training for my position. It also assists in me moving around.

With that being said, there has been a lot of twists and turns in my new normal-ish life and this quarantine and social distancing has been a huge testament and continues to be for what I am trying to strive for accomplishments in my life and blueprint the next chapter for this intense novel called, My Life.

I know my current life and work situation is nowhere similar to the majority of the World’s adjustment and life flow, especially for those who are not state employees and/or are essential employees in general. Even though it can be a mental struggle from time to time with this new life, I try to keep the perspective of others who have it far worse than me who’s struggling with unemployment, and especially those who had a worse case or even died from COVID-19.

Writing this helps me realize my situation could be beyond worse than it is, so I am surely grateful even if I do not have all of my shit together and not being able to be with my partner, considering we still live apart and he is part of the high risk population, so protecting him to a level with social distancing and not being together since before I was sick mid-March.

Yes, I was sick prior to the “Safer at Home” which was suspected to be COVID-19. No, I was not tested, but I had similar mild symptoms with being sick for two weeks straight. I guess we never will know if, in fact, it’s true or not. I’m just glad that today, God has given me another day to breathe and enjoy the sun, as well as blessed my illness did not get my roommates sick.

So now you have a small insight of the last month of As the Quarantine World Turns… now onto the sequel.

The pandemic of the Coronavirus has really gotten us in a whirl wind globally.  Within a panic like the one we are experiencing now, it’s easy to forget the things and people you have in your life, and freak out about what you don’t have or wish you could have at this very moment to help ease you through this uncertainty. 

Case in point, I was one of those people at first, but then I spent a whole week at work (essential employee) and was able to decompress this lil ole’ anxiety with a little help from my medications, health supplements, and just being active again to distract me from my overthinking. 

I realize how much my job and being able to stay at home is a privilege in our new world, and I know I can’t take it for granted. I also realized that now is not the time to lack in self-care during your self-quarantine. 

Go out for walks or runs, play your favorite video games, play a new video game you’ve never played before, watch your favorite movies, work on a puzzle or discover a new board game you’ve never played before, start a new hobby, relax yourself in bubble/mineral baths and drink a glass of wine (this goes for you too, men), start cooking and trying new recipes again, buy a new cook book or any book for leisure off of Amazon, spring clean around the house/apartment… 

…these are just a few of the ideas that come to mind through me and my friends for those of us spending a MAJORITY, if not all, their time at home. 

…and if you’re not feeling all that productive right now, THAT’S OK! I made sure to include activities that didn’t involve a lot of energy, but was fulfilling for the soul. I mean, come on… For fucks sake, it’s Monday and majority of the world are like sloths when it comes to Monday. I get it. 

I pray that others in my situation is capable of turning their mindset around, as well as, are capable of showing compassion during this time, instead of being assholes. The world needs a little more kindness now, more than ever. 

Most importantly, what I want you to take out of this blog post…

Please, please, please!… follow the God Damn 6’ social distancing and stay the fuck home recommendation from CDC. The longer we don’t follow the guidelines, the longer we are stuck in the quarantine life. Don’t be that guy or gal.


Guess what? I got nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award! I was nominated . Thank you so much!! Our opening conversation was very meaningful and substantial within the comments of my various blog posts.

I never done anything of this matter, nor have I been nominated for a blogger’s award, so I appreciate this honorable nomination beyond words and it will bring me a new motivation to keep writing, while appreciate my writing reaching out to those that truly matter. Thank you again.

So without further ado, I’d like to continue onto this blog post, display the rules, answer the questions provided by Ospreyshire, and nominate those that I follow and/or my followers to shine appreciation onto their craft as well.

The Rules for Mystery Blogger Award:

1. Put the award logo/image on your blog

2. List the rules

3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog

4. Mention Okoto Enigma, the creator of the award and provide a link as well.

5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.

6. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.

7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).

9. Share a link to your best post(s).

Now to Answer the Questions from Ospryshire:

1. Where would you like to visit that you’ve never been to before?

There are a lot of places that are on my list to visit in my life from Morocco to Greece to Spain to Kenya, etc. Where I’ve been (Canada, Mexico, Iraq, Kuwait) is just a small taste of the world that should be experienced and lived within.

2. What is one movie, TV show, and/or book that you can’t stand, but everyone else likes?

Hmmm… This is a tough one. I don’t think there isn’t anything that I can’t stand, but there are plenty of TV shows and movies I try to avoid sometimes that I seem to not be drawn to like everyone else during the actually moment they’re released. For example, never watched an episode of “Doctor Who”, “Orange is the New Black” or “Walking Dead.”

OK, wait… I lied. I can’t stand reality shows. Boom!

3. If you could invent a language, what would you call it and how would you teach it to the world?

I struggle with speech on a regular, so my roommate jokes about how I always have my own language and he sometimes has a hard time translating it. So come to think of it, I wouldn’t want to invent a language, if I could. Instead I would work towards fixing my own speaking issues at hand and continue to educate and grow within myself on the Spanish and French education I already know in the foreign language.

4. What is one interest or hobby that you never thought you would get into?

Great question! A lot of my interests and hobbies have been multiple therapeutic tools for me since I could remember, except culinary. Growing up, I struggled to be willing to do the gender norm roles in general, and so I would put massive effort to refuse to do anything that would remote to the feminine gender normality that use to be assigned in the house hold. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20s that I would fall in love with the Food Network channel and Travel channel and see an equal representation of men and women on these channels being bomb ass chefs and culinary geniuses.

5. How do you want to improve as a person?

Everyday is a work in progress on a regular basis for me considering of my mental health issues I carry with me daily. I guess the things could work on more is to not react emotionally to majority of the shit that comes at me in life and rely on individual’s broken words and promises, I’d be in a better place soulfully & wholeheartedly. Also, I wish I learned how to not put so much shit on my plate (figuratively) and be at peace with it without wearing myself thin and learning the hard way every time.

Three Facts About Me:

1. Wisconsin native w/ a Californian heart.

2. My very first publication was before my 17th birthday in Spring 2003 and it was in the “Celebration of Young Poets” collection. My poem was called “Life.” I knew then and there writing was one of my callings.

3. I served a total of ten and a half years in the United States military between the Wisconsin Army National Guard and the United States Reserves. I also have one deployment to Iraq on my resume. I was suppose to go on a second tour to Iraq, however I was sent home for symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, and was ordered to be treated at the local VA.

Here are My Favorite Posts:

We Can’t Heal Alone: A special someone in my life told me last night that, “We can’t heal alone…” and that’s been sticking with me all day. He is right, so for those who sincerely been loving and supporting me, if it seems I am taking you for granted, I deeply apologize. I promise, I am not.

La Femme Nikita Fan Fiction: Currently a six-part series of my all-time favorite television series growing up with a spin off in the mix and other posts related to my fan experience with the series and its cast and crew. This is the very root of my blog and healing process, with the privilege of meeting my role models. For the fans still tuned in, I will release part seven very soon after a multiple-year hiatus.

The Road to Healing: This was a very powerful and personal poem I wrote that is also the title of my best-selling self-published self-help/poetry book, “The Road to Healing: An Equestrian Journal.” Revision edition coming soon to Amazon paperback & Kindle.

Philosophical Vision: Ethics: One of my favorite subjects and food for the mind is philosophy. This is just one of a few essays I have made into a blog series on my philosophy on life since my introduction on the topic in college.

Sneak Peak into my Closet: My main outlet for art therapy for my PTSD/depression/trauma is my free verse poetry. Here is just a sneak peak into my closet. Enjoy the rhymes and reason of why I write.

I hereby nominate:

At A Glance Magezine
Jewels of a MAGNOLIA
Anonymous Scribe
Rain Alchemist
Mathias Sager
Lucid Being
Author Jodi Ambrose
The Art of Blogging
Gehal Gamal

My Questions for My Nominations:

1. What is one thing you would like your readers and followers to get out of your blog and writing?

2. What inspired you and/or drew you to blogging for a social media platform?

3. If you could teach the world one thing, what would it be?

4. What is your all-time favorite television series/movie/book to resort to in order to calm your mind from this hectic world?

5. If there is one thing you could change about yourself as an individual or an artist, what would it be?