"Fallen Angel" Part One (Short Story)

Lust. Love. Ares. Aphrodite.

There’s a fallen angel residing on this Earth’s dirt. Humanity who is blinded by the naked eye will not be able to discover such beauty that hides behind broken wings, shattered horns, in the world of grey. She’s not like the rest of the crowd, she adds her own color to this world. She dares to paint with purples, greens, and yellows, instead of such boredom of black and white. She dares to go against the crowd, no matter the force against her.

This fallen angel also will imprint her presence with her smiles. Smiles you can’t erase from your memory bank. In ways she has imprinted herself into your heart; but don’t be fooled. 

Don’t be fooled on this fallen angel, who has no name, by her kindness and make it more than what it is. Don’t be fooled by her silence and make it what it isn’t. She fights her own demons within her heart, mind and soul. She’s fallen from corruption in her heart.

Everyday, the fallen angel questions if she is whether related to the Goddess of Despair, Eris, or in relations of the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite. She prays daily that the heart of Aphrodite remains close to her as loyalties of Ares and Hades are determined to torture her own pretty, little heart. 

It’s an everyday battle, an everyday chaos in her heart, but at the end of the day, she continues to paint her visionary world in that heart, along with her own mind and soul. The primer paint continues to be love to balance the fixture from the rest of the chaos.

Someday the ying to her yang will reveal himself. Not to take over the creation of this art of love, but to add his own colors to it. His unconditional love will endure, even while in the shadows of Hades whelms.

In return, her angelic aura transforms to its rightful stage, as it reflects the sun. He will also have the ability to reform her horns into a halo crown that sits perfectly on top of her head and help strengthen her weathered wings, so she returns to the crystal blue skies once more to return to her cloud of calling.

All in results of the power of true unconditional love and the presence of her soul mate’s patient eyes, as she returns the same patience and virtue of morality and ethics.

(To Be Continued…)

©H.M. Gautsch

Since You Said Goodbye (Poetry)


There’s been an emptiness,
Inside of me.

It’s hard to explain it.
I should be over you by now.
It’s been over two years,
But my heart continues to disavow.
Loved ones come and go.
Because I can’t seem to find,
What I’m searching for.
Discovering you with a new lover.
I’ve tried,
But I can’t shed a new exposure,
From this old pain, this torture.
This treasure keeps digging deeper,
In some sand, off an island.
I’d go and hunt for my own gem,
But I seem to have lost the map.
Since you said goodbye,
I seem to have lost my pride.
I’m still waiting for,
You to come through the door.
My heart is too young to die,
But it hasn’t been able to revive,
I’ve force myself to mingle, 
But I haven’t been able, 
To take a bite,
Instead I only nibble.
Since you said goodbye.
If only you knew of the heart,
You borrowed.
How it’s become this morbid art,
From all the storms it’s weathered,
The blind love it wallowed,
And all the thorns it’s severed.
Lost love, not long ago,
I thought I found the one.
Was I a fool to fall for your status quo?
Very few know me through and through,
The few I’ve let in.
Construe of the scars,
Buried skin deep like tattoos.
Not meant to be removed,
But to shape my heart that’s allude,
To the heavens’, all the while, subdued.
Until then, it remains black and blue.
All because of me not getting over you.
Since you said goodbye,
I seem to have lost my pride.
I’m still waiting for,
You to come through the door.
My heart is too young to die,
But it hasn’t been able to revive,
I’ve force myself to mingle,
But I haven’t been able, 
To take a bite,
Instead I only nibble. 
Since you said goodbye.

Why I don’t want to get involved,
My heart still aches,
Screaming, “It’s only your fault,
when the relationships fall.”
I need to quit trying so hard,
Stop hiding behind this charred heart.
Focus on the nurture of things,
And not the nature it brings.

©H.M. Gautsch

Fatherless (Poetry)


Raised by a single mother,
And a bachelor who transitioned,
To my stepfather.
But that was never enough for me.
For my mind to became distortion,
By my curiosity.
After the discovery,
Of the unknown second candidate.
Questions arise in my thoughts.
All for the blank mystery
Of my birth certificate.
Who? Where? What? When? Why?
If he knew of my life,
Would he be proud of me,
Attempt to make up for lost time?
Or would he be in disgust
At the roads I chose to take,
And disown me anyway?
As I continue to grow,
Expose myself to the World
My mind continues to wander.
I sit back and try to understand,
How can one man or woman,
Just walk away from an innocent child.
The anger and resentment diminishes,
But I haven’t forgotten,
About my unanswered prayers.
Growing up fatherless,
Brings many effects to one’s home.
Don’t allow your child to grow up alone.
I feel lost not knowing,
The second half of my genetics.
Who? Where? What? When? Why?
The same questions haunt my dreams,
Brings me the life I only fantasize.
But that’s not enough for me to be satisfied.
2014©H.M.Gautsch

Focused (Poetry)


It’s that time again.

Another banger, another rhyme,

Another lesson in this poetic mind.

With that hip-hop vibe.

I’m focused a hundred percent,

Like I’m popping in that Ritalin.

No, really, I’m popping that Ritalin.

To tame my A.D.D. habits.

Because God forbid if I ever get side tracked

Once again.

This is my calling.

To empower my weaknesses with my strengths.


I’m focused.

This is my moment.

I’m focused.

This is your only notice.


Artists respect this.

Because I know how to keep it trill,

Respectful and true.

I speak what’s on my mind,

But first, I listen, comprehend,

And understand other walk of lives before I stand.

Before I speak my views and experiences.

This is my business.

If I haven’t walked in your shoes,

I keep it hush; I don’t act like I know.

Because I don’t need to act a fool,

To fit in with any kind of crew.


I’m focused.

This is my moment.

I’m focused.

This is your only notice.


I keep it positive, I shine my own light.

I stay focused in my own fight.

I’m ready for the final round,

I’ll return to use my mixed martial arts exercise.

To squash those who want to criticize.

Because I am too focused.

To allow anyone to try to tell me how to live my life.

I am too focused to live any kind of lie.

It’s time to turn up the levels,

It’s time to maximize.

You can call me a pesticide.


I’m focused.

This is my moment.

I’m focused.

This is your only notice.


2014©H.M. Gautsch