A Somber Day… as Memorial Weekend continues:

Even though my adjustment to civilian life has been a struggle, due to being consumed in today’s society by so many political opinions, and truths being revealed… it certainly has been a hard pill to swallow…

Working DFac (fDining Facility) Guard

While most people gather, illegally and legally, I’ve kept my distance and silence, as well as decompress my mind, to gather my thoughts over this weekend as it reminds me of two things…. 1) my best friend at the time being KIA on June 3, 2007 (three days before my 21st), and the fact that tomorrow is legitimately my fifth year anniversary from being medically retired from the military.

Yet, there is still a pride in me for serving this country for the purpose of the bigger picture and not for myself, but for ALL the people in this country who chooses not to or simply can’t for medical purposes…

I continue to look at the positive things of serving like having the opportunity to embrace and experience so many various cultures and individuals through the battle buddies I’ve met over the years and the various global contractors and local people that I had the opportunity to befriend and worked with while in Iraq.

Local Interpreters, Taji 🇮🇶

Also, without serving, I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today nor accomplish the things I’ve accomplished over my adult life…

While the mass crowd defines us a basic stereotype of typical sheep and murderers, I will not let those voices define me nor the good-hearted people I have come to serve and meet, who take the call to risk their lives for their own beliefs of serving…

What comes down to my reality vs. their reality, is that we all have a story, we all have educational value to share through our livelihoods and experiences, and we all can learn from one another… we just need to be able to have an open mind to learn from those who haven’t experienced a similar life than our own and that’s where empathy comes in…

Unfortunately, the majority of us, as humans, struggle with having empathy for the rest of the world, if not, our own country and that’s why we are in the “Divided States of America” we are currently in.

Super Bowl Party. |Chicago Vs Indianapolis|
Go Manning Go!
🏈

The relief of today was fulfilled with distractions and productivity while distancing myself from the crowds and social media, while I regain my attentiveness and confidence with my purpose and knowledge in the world during my five-day weekend and I’m only half way through.

Goofing off before meeting
the Iraqi Army General. 😳

Also, what helped me through today is having one of my battle buddies that I relate to reaching out to me today with his music playlist and amazing descriptive reflection of his day, because he knows how much music and storytelling gets me through difficult things.

Thank you, Deneen, and stay well. 👍🏻

Advertisement

I was nominated: Mystery Blogger Award!

mystery-blogger

Guess what? I got nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award! I was nominated . Thank you so much!! Our opening conversation was very meaningful and substantial within the comments of my various blog posts.

I never done anything of this matter, nor have I been nominated for a blogger’s award, so I appreciate this honorable nomination beyond words and it will bring me a new motivation to keep writing, while appreciate my writing reaching out to those that truly matter. Thank you again.

So without further ado, I’d like to continue onto this blog post, display the rules, answer the questions provided by Ospreyshire, and nominate those that I follow and/or my followers to shine appreciation onto their craft as well.


The Rules for Mystery Blogger Award:

1. Put the award logo/image on your blog

2. List the rules

3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog

4. Mention Okoto Enigma, the creator of the award and provide a link as well.

5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.

6. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.

7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).

9. Share a link to your best post(s).

Now to Answer the Questions from Ospryshire:

1. Where would you like to visit that you’ve never been to before?

There are a lot of places that are on my list to visit in my life from Morocco to Greece to Spain to Kenya, etc. Where I’ve been (Canada, Mexico, Iraq, Kuwait) is just a small taste of the world that should be experienced and lived within.

2. What is one movie, TV show, and/or book that you can’t stand, but everyone else likes?

Hmmm… This is a tough one. I don’t think there isn’t anything that I can’t stand, but there are plenty of TV shows and movies I try to avoid sometimes that I seem to not be drawn to like everyone else during the actually moment they’re released. For example, never watched an episode of “Doctor Who”, “Orange is the New Black” or “Walking Dead.”

OK, wait… I lied. I can’t stand reality shows. Boom!

3. If you could invent a language, what would you call it and how would you teach it to the world?

I struggle with speech on a regular, so my roommate jokes about how I always have my own language and he sometimes has a hard time translating it. So come to think of it, I wouldn’t want to invent a language, if I could. Instead I would work towards fixing my own speaking issues at hand and continue to educate and grow within myself on the Spanish and French education I already know in the foreign language.

4. What is one interest or hobby that you never thought you would get into?

Great question! A lot of my interests and hobbies have been multiple therapeutic tools for me since I could remember, except culinary. Growing up, I struggled to be willing to do the gender norm roles in general, and so I would put massive effort to refuse to do anything that would remote to the feminine gender normality that use to be assigned in the house hold. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20s that I would fall in love with the Food Network channel and Travel channel and see an equal representation of men and women on these channels being bomb ass chefs and culinary geniuses.

5. How do you want to improve as a person?

Everyday is a work in progress on a regular basis for me considering of my mental health issues I carry with me daily. I guess the things could work on more is to not react emotionally to majority of the shit that comes at me in life and rely on individual’s broken words and promises, I’d be in a better place soulfully & wholeheartedly. Also, I wish I learned how to not put so much shit on my plate (figuratively) and be at peace with it without wearing myself thin and learning the hard way every time.

Three Facts About Me:

1. Wisconsin native w/ a Californian heart.

2. My very first publication was before my 17th birthday in Spring 2003 and it was in the “Celebration of Young Poets” collection. My poem was called “Life.” I knew then and there writing was one of my callings.

3. I served a total of ten and a half years in the United States military between the Wisconsin Army National Guard and the United States Reserves. I also have one deployment to Iraq on my resume. I was suppose to go on a second tour to Iraq, however I was sent home for symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, and was ordered to be treated at the local VA.

Here are My Favorite Posts:

We Can’t Heal Alone: A special someone in my life told me last night that, “We can’t heal alone…” and that’s been sticking with me all day. He is right, so for those who sincerely been loving and supporting me, if it seems I am taking you for granted, I deeply apologize. I promise, I am not.

La Femme Nikita Fan Fiction: Currently a six-part series of my all-time favorite television series growing up with a spin off in the mix and other posts related to my fan experience with the series and its cast and crew. This is the very root of my blog and healing process, with the privilege of meeting my role models. For the fans still tuned in, I will release part seven very soon after a multiple-year hiatus.

The Road to Healing: This was a very powerful and personal poem I wrote that is also the title of my best-selling self-published self-help/poetry book, “The Road to Healing: An Equestrian Journal.” Revision edition coming soon to Amazon paperback & Kindle.

Philosophical Vision: Ethics: One of my favorite subjects and food for the mind is philosophy. This is just one of a few essays I have made into a blog series on my philosophy on life since my introduction on the topic in college.

Sneak Peak into my Closet: My main outlet for art therapy for my PTSD/depression/trauma is my free verse poetry. Here is just a sneak peak into my closet. Enjoy the rhymes and reason of why I write.

I hereby nominate:

Twoblondekids.com
At A Glance Magezine
Jewels of a MAGNOLIA
Anonymous Scribe
Rain Alchemist
Mathias Sager
Lucid Being
Author Jodi Ambrose
The Art of Blogging
Gehal Gamal

My Questions for My Nominations:

1. What is one thing you would like your readers and followers to get out of your blog and writing?

2. What inspired you and/or drew you to blogging for a social media platform?

3. If you could teach the world one thing, what would it be?

4. What is your all-time favorite television series/movie/book to resort to in order to calm your mind from this hectic world?

5. If there is one thing you could change about yourself as an individual or an artist, what would it be?

In The Spotlight! Nathan Timmel

unnamed

Whether in Iraq during his USO tour, or the fact that he’s a ‘cheesehead’ at heart, or just bumping into each other in a random social Facebook group, we were meant to meet eventually, so we can sit and talk, while he scavengers on Rocky Rocco pizza, while we share our common interests and philosophies with our life experiences.

Now I sit with him again, to give him his own spotlight to share his own story here on my blog. Hey, Nathan…. Thanks for joining me!

You’ve been doing comedy for a while now, Nathan, with some epic experiences over the years as a performer. Can you give the readers a short resume of who you are and what your accomplishments are that you’ve made over the years of comedy?

A short résumé…  Mi llamo es Nathan. I stand on stage and yap into a microphone, which in turn makes people giggle. I may be a nobody, but I’ve managed to eek out a living slinging jokes. I’ve put out 5 CDs during my career, and have just finished recording/editing my 6th. Two of those CDs receive regular airplay on the Sirius/XM comedy channels, and one of them, “I Might Not Be Joking,” made it into the top 20 on the  iTunes comedy chart.

My official bio is: Not as serious as Plato, but lighter than Socrates. Not as edgy as Clinton, but livelier than Nixon. Not as heavy as GWAR, but deeper than Culture Club.

I’d say that’s accurate.

Tell us the story of how Nathan Timmel got into comedy?

I was in a band in college, and we started picking up some steam. A half-dozen college radio stations started playing our songs, and we began charting on the nationally published College Music Journal, so naturally we imploded. I wanted to go on tour and build a fan base; the singer wanted to get signed to a record label and have them do all the work. I said, “We’re not going to get signed unless we go to the places we’re getting played, get some fans, and give a record label a reason to sign us.”

He disagreed, and the band broke up.

I’m a bass player, one with enough self-awareness to understand I’m no Sting. With little desire to end up in another band where there would be fighting and disagreement, and without the ability to write songs/sing on my own, I decided to hit an open microphone and make with the silly.

It stuck, and here I am.

Most of your comedy would be drawn into the dark humor genre, and a lot of your jokes basically are of you providing your opinions and sharing stories of your life, as well as, making fun of the current issues on politics and society. What do you think is the key to get a message across on an affective domain to the audience?

I think the best way to get a point of view across to anyone is to be universal. If you take a side, then you alienate the other side. If you go with universal truths, it’s hard for anyone to deny or discredit what you’re saying.

People still will deny and disagree with and discredit what you’re saying, but it’s harder for them to do so.

Are you worried about offending the modern audiences with your material considering the controversies today with comedians, i.e. David Chappelle?

I’m not, and here’s why: everyone is offended by something. That’s all there is to it. So no matter how hard you try, someone will take issue with something you say. Therefore, the best approach is to not worry about it. I just go forth with my own values and limits in mind; lines I won’t cross: homophobic, racist, or sexist comments.

Regarding Dave Chappelle, I don’t know that there’s much controversy surrounding him. There’s invented “controversy,” but that’s not real. What you have to remember is that the audience loves his most recent, the “controversial,” special. Not just the in-house audience he recorded it in front of, but everyone, everywhere. The show is currently rocking a 99% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The reason it’s “controversial” is because “critics” have it at 35%. Those “critics” are nothing but a bunch of “woke” idiots virtue signaling how awesome they are to other idiots.

People say you’re supposed to “punch up, not down” in comedy. Meaning you attack the powers that be, not victims. What Chappelle did in his last special is attack woke culture head on, because today that IS punching up. With stupid people being offended by Goddamn everything, and the media writing articles like, “Twitter explodes after… (insert anything non-controversial here)!” and then finding the ten stupidest people on Twitter to use an example of how outraged everyone is, being “woke” means being in power. Thus, that movement is fair game for mockery by comedians.

And note: there is a difference between mockery, and complaining/whining. A lot of people whine/complain. Chappelle mocked, and did so brilliantly.

Hell, even President Obama called out woke “culture.” Hopefully it’s a signal that like anything stupid, it’s time has passed.

Would you ever consider doing comedy specials on streaming services to broaden your audiences?

(Laughs) My buddy is currently in a band, and one of the members said, “We need to make a viral video!”

As if it’s that easy, and that going viral just happens.

I’d absolutely do comedy specials on streaming services, but unless someone is backing those with some authority, it’s doubtful they’d move the needle. I mean, I’ve a YouTube channel with more videos than you can shake a stick at on it. No one cares, because no one knows who I am.

That said: I’m taping my first Dry Bar comedy special next week. I don’t know when they’re going to release it, but I’ve seen some of their videos go viral, so…

*crosses fingers*

Are you planning to go on tour or simply have any new bookings?

I’m always “on tour” and/or looking for new bookings. Being an unknown comedian means you’re perpetually trying to work; you don’t schedule 3 months and then take 3 months off. It’s financially unfeasible to live like that.

You’re not just a comedian. You are also an author. Can you provide a proposal for what your books are about that you’ve published so far? 

To date, I’ve put out three works of non-fiction. The first book was a memoir, and the next two were letters I wrote to my kiddos over the course of a year.

I just finished my first work of nonfiction, and I was about to self-publish it, but the wife read it and sat me down and said, “OK, I’ve always supported your writing, but what you have to understand is: this one is good. Like, really good.”

So, she’s not letting me self-publish; she wants to find me an agent.

I wish her luck, but I know that’s much, much, much easier said than done.

How are your books different from your performances as a comedian?

On stage, I have to be funny. It’s my job. No one goes to a comedy club to do anything but laugh. The books give me an outlet where I don’t have to be “on” all the time. They have funny moments, but they’re not inherently humorous. Writing allows me to explore the other nonsense going on inside my noggin; things that won’t work on stage. Non-jokes, if you will.

What are some of the biggest highlights and accomplishments you’re proud of over the years as a comedian?

It’s easily my time in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The two best compliments I’ve ever received have come from shows for the military.

I’ve been closing my shows talking about my time in Afghanistan, and that’s on the CD I have coming out in January: “This Could Get Awkward,” so I’ll tell a story about Iraq.

At Camp Anaconda, a woman named Leah Burton approached me after my show. She shook my hand, and said, “Sitting in the theater, in the darkness, just laughing… I actually forgot where I was for a second. I was laughing, and then I looked down at my uniform and was startled. I looked around the room and wondered why everyone was in military garb. Then I remembered how far from home I was. I remembered I was in Iraq, and my family was a thousand miles away. But for a moment, I forgot.”

I mean… all I do is tell jokes for a living. It’s not supposed to mean anything. So when I hear that against all odds I’ve actually made someone’s life a little more tolerable? It sticks with you.

I know a small portion of some of your background as a comedian that includes life experiences. Your life experiences have been a helpful tool towards your comedy, but the question is, has comedy been a helpful tool for you as an individual? How has it evolved you as a performer and individual?

I don’t think I can put it any better than Hawkeye did on M*A*S*H: If I’m not laughing, I’m screaming.

We live in a cynical world, and the news is always negative. If I wasn’t actively making fun of that, it’d be too much for my fragile little psyche.

Log on to Facebook at any given time and scroll through your feed; it’s people shouting at one another, people whining about how awful their life is… I have “friends” who haven’t made changes in a Goddamn decade. It’s the same litany of negativity over and over and over, without any attempt to self-improve. Comedy has helped me observe such negativity from afar and actively decide not to engage in such behavior.

Two more examples: Last Week Tonight, with John Oliver. That show takes on the most depressing subjects possible and makes you laugh while learning how bleak things are. And finally, The Life of Brian… I saw that as a kid, and it’s always stuck with me: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

“If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten, and that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.”

Today, you are a great family man now with two beautiful kids and your wife. How is life different now compared to before fatherhood?

I haven’t slept in seven years. I think that’s probably knocked some time off my overall lifespan.

Your stories of your kids have surely added some new material to your arsenal. How has your comedy evolved today compared to your material from ten years ago?

I’d say that like most people, I was angrier when I was younger. We age, we gain perspective, we mellow out…

If you don’t, holy crap are you annoying. Have you ever met an adult–someone in their late 30’s or 40s–that’s still carrying that adolescent chip on their shoulder?

I think my material these days is easier to digest.

Last, but surely not least… How about them Packers? 

They will be the death of me.

Just In Case Someone Needs To Hear This

JUST IN CASE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS:

Some days are very frustrating in the healing process and forgiving yourself for your past. Especially when you are alone or feel you’re alone in this life.

I frustrate myself most as my own worse enemy.

It’s easy to fake happiness when in reality everything in your life is on fire. Friends and family become strangers, therefore you’re not sure if you are capable to trust those who simply want to love and care for your heart. You work day in and day out to extinguish the flames around you.

Why alone? Cause most people don’t give a shit about your life or your story. Point, blank. However, as I grow older and continue my healing process, I come to the realization that it doesn’t matter. You cannot heal yourself on other’s expectations and other’s schedules. Why do I know this so well?

I grew up and still experience an environment where my emotions or my lifestyle doesn’t matter. I grew up where nobody has ever put me first or respect my voice.

Results in this are: one, I also have never put myself first, and two, I’ve crashed and burn like a broken record repeatedly by putting everyone else before my own.

For majority of the people in my life, walls and boundaries are set and I use two personalities (Yay, Geminis!), the strong, quiet personality and/or the goofy/high energy personality to help deteriorate any possible negative energy disguised in human form.

The consequence, genuine people in my life could easily come and go by misunderstanding me as a spiritual being.

As a spiritual being, I’m training myself to a different resolution. I’m learning to read people’s energy, rather than resort to the assumptions that everyone is bad juju.

It is a challenge for your heart and mind. Especially for those who travel a similar path like mine, but trust me when I say it gets better as you start creating a barrier that’s actually healthy.

You slowly learn to not put up with the bullshit that’s toxic and the genuine people see you for who you truly are as a beautiful, gifted soul. Most importantly, you start loving yourself and finding your confidence.

But how do we know we are progressing in our self healing and self love? Life starts to magnify you towards your goals and dreams in life and love.

💜🦄🖤

Composure (Poetry)


images

How do you say goodbye, to the shit that’s not healthy for you?
Turn off the light, shut the door, and walk away in silent.
I still struggle with it.
Do you swallow that pride and weed out the demons in disguise,
Amongst the rest of the people in your life,
Even if your back is against the ropes and your hands are tied.
Take that bravery and let out the pain,
Tell your story to draw the picture on that paper,
For the next generation’s sake.
You can only be wrong for so long.
Adjust that fist, be ready to punch.
At the end of the day you can only take so much.
People be making me feel like I need to go live in my own world,
Off of a mountain or something.
Starting to get tired of society as a whole for their ignorance,
Hatred, and non-educational judgments.
There’s so many can of worms I could expose,
But I don’t.
I guess it’s a part of me growing and maturing.
It’s not how I want my fifteen minutes of fame,
It’s not how I want my character to impose.
The potential low blows for those
That slows my hope for our humanity…
…Nah…
Even though I have my days of feeling like a ticking time bomb,
It’s not how I want my reputation to compose.

2015©H.M. Gautsch