I’m breathing, hastily, but still… I am breathing. You can either thank the harsh, wet winter or the fact that I have survived another semester of the college life. I should be happy working on a second college degree, but lately I been frustrated. These days all I want to do is write. Write, write, WRITE!
So of course I am working on my third book once again after putting it aside for 18 months and focusing on a largely transition in my life from moving to a bigger city, getting robbed in six months of living here, consuming my life with institutional training and now working a decent job. All of this gives me a hard time to let my creative juices flow naturally.
But there is a positive note for my challenges. I have written enough new poetry for a fourth book to publish within the next year as well, but I need to get my third book done first! My ADD has other plans though. I have no idea what theme or design to create my book cover or even a title for my fourth book.
So, I pinch myself to refocus on my current projects and to finish editing this damn book I been sitting on (figuratively, not literally) for the past year or so. Ironically how I am killing time while typing you up a livelihood of an update in my articulate journey.
Life is fucking crazy!
Okay, I feel better now that I screamed that out…
…In my mind and onto this blog.
Bottom line: The Road to Healing: An Equestrian Journal will be published on 12/22/16. Two years after my second book was published! Speaking of my second book, I need to go back and edit the format for that book and my first book to make it more readable for my readers and republish those collections. After that, I can figure out where to go with my fourth book.
For now, I need to snowboard through this two-part snow storm to get my ‘happy-ass’ to work for the evening. I am closing with a sneak peak photo and poem that will be in my new book.
It’s back to the waiting game of being medically retired from the military now. Until then, I do what I can to stay on the surface of my life, even though I am currently beyond exhausted from trying to balance two jobs, school, military, and trying to start my own business.
At this moment, what keeps me focused is the thoughts of Montreal in June & the horses at the ranch. Due to insomnia issues, we changed my schedule for my equine therapy.
I showed the owner of the ranch my book cover I created for my next book and she loved it. She wants to make sure she gets a hand on a copy when it’s released.
Randy (my recovery coordinator out of McCoy) came to witness my therapy with Sterling. Randy asks me to be apart of a documentary type project to share my story with PTSD to put awareness to fight against the negative stigma in the military and to highlight the negative stigma of “candyland” at our local VA. The video project also will hopefully be a other step towards lowering and/or diminishing the suicide statistics in today’s veterans. I get to share my military & VA experience in this video project.
We want people to know there are healthier alternatives over the over medicating and having veterans becoming zombie-like and permanently ending important relationships. Equestrian is more beneficial because it allows veterans to accept their issues, learn how to cope with them, & move on from the past and have a healthy future in society.
As for working my therapy session, Sterling was easier to work with considering I was on time (even if the therapy session time changed itself) and he got a nap in prior. He was very intuitive with everyone around and kept close to me, guarding me again from who he thought to be strangers like he did when Mario & Deuce was in town.
We did an exercise where I made an alley way and had to identify two of my biggest obstacles with moving forward with the progression I had made since my start at the ranch. My two choices was home (since it’s time to move on to bigger things) & my heart (the most valuable thing in my life). Sterling kept eye contact and listened to my commands as we walked through the alley together. My heart was represented by grain & home was represented by hay. When Sterling passed the exercise, he went straight to the grain, symbolically asking to be a part of it. It was a beautiful moment in my eyes regardless of him nibbling on the bucket when the grain was all gone.