Did I Serve My Country For This?!

*Warning: Another long ass post with very low resolution photos from the memory bank*

I grew up sheltered beyond measure, not seeing much beyond Wisconsin and half of Minnesota. I never encountered anyone darker than the Native American skin complexion until my first cousin once removed, Maxwell, was born. I was eight years old. So, growing up with very little diversity did two things. One, helped me accept all Americans regardless of color and background, and two, it still blinded me from the reality of our very own country, because of experiencing my very own discrimination in small town USA.

September 11th, 2001, I was fifteen years old. I did not know what the World Trade Center was until this very day. The day that would change America and the rest of the World forever. It was my loudest calling. As any small town White American, we grow up ignorant, but proud of our safe haven we call the United States of America, the land of the free. This is a moment I realized I needed to sincerely reach out to the rest of the world and educate myself.

It didn’t take long to talk myself into taking the military route, due to my spiritual beliefs beyond the illusion of freedom. September, 2001 brought to light in my life of a black and white factor, good verses evil. Yeah, I also wanted to see the world and get the hell out of dodge, but also fight the evil that displayed itself at the very beginning of our new millennium. I didn’t want to just prove to others of my ability of being somebody, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do anything I put my mind too regardless of everyone else’s doubts of my vision.

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Me in NYC with our tour guide and former actor, Frank Luz, ’05

Before I headed to basic training after I graduated high school, I talked my mom and stepfather into helping me pay for a school trip to New York City my Senior year. I paid half and they paid half. I needed experience beyond the small radius I grew up in.

Luckily for me, they agreed. This was only three years shortly after the infamous date. I had to embrace ground zero, or what was left of it anyways. It was the reminder I needed on the reason I was serving. It pushed me to believe in the choice I already had made.

Now fast forward to my experience in the military. We served whichever was our commander-in-chief and we were NOT allowed to bring up our political beliefs, but instead focus on the mission right in front of us. Tunnel vision, so to speak. There are a plus side to it.

There was a plus side to the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy as well, regardless of how it was

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Me in Iraq hanging with my battle from the Air Force (he’s behind the camera). ❤ RIP Jon. ❤

flipped against those in the LGBT community in those days. We weren’t consumed of things out of our measures beyond what was right in front of us. I guess being a chameleon, so to speak, also has it’s advantages.

Unfortunately, I am well aware that not everyone has the same case as myself, but in reality with all the units I was assigned too and the individuals I met through the military, I never felt that no one gave a fuck about who I was sleeping with, men or women. The men I had relationships didn’t give a fuck about my previous ex-girlfriends.

Completely different from the environment I grew up with. I did felt ‘free’ regardless of the circumstances with the military. While, others were unlucky to have found themselves kicked out, at my time in the service, the most I got was a counseling statement for bringing up hardships with an ex while in Iraq (for those who don’t know what a counseling statement is, it’s basically just a slap in the hand for fucking up).

The military showed me a close knit crew outside a few episodes of soap operas and drama theater going on, but again, that’s everywhere in this world. There was maybe one instance where a douche-bag NCO was being racist towards our Puerto Rican brothers. He tried to write up a counseling statement for me sticking up for them.

Yes, I was very opinionated in the military and didn’t hold back if I witness something wrong and I didn’t give a shit about what rank that individual was. Ask any of my leaders of this factor of my persona (laughing). This dude was certainty on a power trip though. Still no regrets though. He wasn’t a leader in my eyes and that’s still my opinion today.

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SGT White & I, OIF ’06-’07, DFAC Guard

Other than that, I did not witness anything racism, especially towards my African American brothers and sisters I served with. Niave? Maybe. I was one of the few white soldiers always kicking it with my African-American battles though, when I wasn’t hanging with my Air Force guys.

Even at home, in my military environment, I didn’t witness any racism with my own eyes. Not saying there wasn’t, but I mean, I was going through my own issues to the point where it consumed my life, my small mind at the time. To the point where the civilian world, it was a complete stranger to me. I didn’t get what was going on due to my experiences in the military and my own discrimination growing up in small town, USA.

Even when the social issues were seriously rising, even under Obama’s presidency. I did not understand the issue. I wanted to, but I couldn’t help but question things like, “but we have Obama.” etc…etc… How is this going on? Why is this going on? I thought we got past this? Questions for days and days.

Like, I got completely uncomfortable and had lots of white guilt, because of how frustrated my friends were at me, and how mistreated they were with the system the country has in place. I will admitted, regardless of my life experiences, I was biased and uneducated as fuck to what truly mattered.

I wanted to understand, but my mind wouldn’t allow it due to my experiences in life. It didn’t take until a couple of my African-American friends actually literally dummy down the explanation for me, even with statistics. Somehow that helped shit click, which is weird, because I fucking hate math and suck at it with a passion (laughing).

Well now, it’s just beyond frustrated as fuck. I try to do my part to unify humanity and bring compassion in the world. Same as my original mission and purpose when I first signed up for the military, but it’s hard when over half of our humanity don’t give a rats ass about others than their own beliefs and themselves, especially Americans. Yes, I am calling my own country out. Look at the dynamic we are living in. We are not looked at as the best country in the world, we are a clown show for the world. Accept it.

This post also goes towards the ‘neo-liberals’ who want to categorize veterans as conservatives/Republicans/Trump-supporters, because of the trolls you see on social media that try to speak for us. This is why majority of Americans, not just veterans, hate political parties and association with the government, regardless of the choices we made in our lives. I don’t regret a moment of serving, regardless of my status of a soldier and the choices I made to retire the boots.

I am still proud to be from this country, this continent, regardless of our imperfections. I will not allow our history to define my patriotism as an American Viking. I will allow our history to endorse more compassion within to expose towards society to try to fix the now. We need to open up and realize, not all nations world-wide are not on our level of progression when it comes to laws and rights, but again we are far from perfect. It takes lots of years and change to see where we’ve been compared to where we have come. The only movement is forward.

One last bit, before I close this post. Believe it or not, plenty of us, veterans, are not brainwashed and can think and speak for ourselves. I still believe there are plenty aspects of this country that is far more beneficial than many nations on the world, regardless of the current shit show, but that’s another post for another time. Political rants exhaust me.

That goes for the current climate on both ends of the political parties. It’s time for a change, government. It’s time to give a shit about the people. It’s time for a change, people. It’s time to have less reliance on corrupt politicians who give no shits about anyone, but themselves. It’ll take a lot of work. It’ll be hard. Nothing is black and white, but nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.

For those who are too far ignorant to see reality and truth beyond the propaganda bullshit, and are stuck in your own alternative truth, I’ll pray for you.

Q&A Feature: Patrick Barnitt

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Photo Credit: IMDb

Now let’s take a moment and get to know who Patrick Barnitt is in Patrick’s world and what else he is wanting to accomplish in his career.

In seven words, who is Patrick Barnitt?

Patrick Barnitt: Crooner, actor, recovering Borg, and occasional rascal.

How long have you been working in the film industry? What are some of your experiences you’ve had during your years in the industry?

PB: I’ve been in the film industry since 1990. I’ve been lucky enough to make it onto the Star Ship enterprise, run around in the desert in the movie Se7en, and sing on a Fred Savage television show, just to name a few.

What has been the most memorable memory in your career?

PB: That’s a tough one. Here’s a few. Working with Danny Trejo on Chronology, going round for round with Bruce Davison in Coffin, and working with the late, legendary Dennis Hopper.

Do you consider yourself more of an artist, or just an actor in the film industry? In your own words, what defines someone to be more than just an actor in the industry?

PB: At the risk of sounding like a complete tool, I would consider myself more of an artist. *he says as he adjusts his beret, and slowly takes a drag of a clove cigarette*

It kind of covers it all. I spend time acting and also singing, performing. Depends on the day, the project, or the gig. At the end of the day, it’s all performing. It’s all storytelling. It’s all art.

I was introduced to you by the character of Jack Samms from the Coffin franchise. Can you tell the readers about your character in the films?

PB: Jack is a man caught in a trap. A man of wealth. A guy who seemingly has it all. A

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Patrick Barnitt as “Jack Samms” Photo Credit: IMDb

great career, a beautiful wife. Lots of dough. Security. A lot to lose. He’s achieved quite a bit in life at the expense of his marriage.

Things are crumbling. Things aren’t always what they seem.

Coffin isn’t your first project that you worked with Derik Wingo and Kipp Tribble. You have worked with them before on Derik’s film, The Waiters. Was that the first time you have ever worked with the two? How has your experience with the guys been over the years?

PB: I go way back with Derik Wingo and Kipp Tribble. I met direct on First Contact on the lot at Paramount years back. We went on to work together on The Waiters up in Portland. Good times.

You can hear me on the soundtrack. Kipp produced The Waiters, but we didn’t meet until a few years later. They’re quite a team. They can finish each other’s sentences. It’s pretty hilarious. We always have a blast. Four projects later. Incredibly talented and great guys.

Is Coffin the first project you’ve worked with actor Johnny Alonso on?

PB: Yes, I met Johnny on Coffin. Terrific guy. A real East Coast cat. When I met him I felt like I knew him for years. It was a real rush working with him on Coffin 1 and Coffin 2. He is a tremendous actor and a real Paisan! We spent a most of our time together in the first Coffin with night shoots, including driving around Los Angeles, and one crazy kitchen scene. Check it out!

Johnny’s a great singer and guitarist. We sang duet at the Dresden at the party for the premiere of first Coffin film. It was great fun.

Here’s a snippet of Johnny Alonso and Patrick Barnitt
in the bar scene in the first Coffin film.
Enjoy the sneak peak if you have not seen the film yet!

As artists, acting isn’t the only thing you and Johnny Alonso have in common. You both are also musicians. How long have you been singing? What got you into music?

PB: As long as I can remember, I’ve been singing and listening to music. Great FM rock radio of the 70s and 80’s. My brothers had an intense record collection. The Who, Led Zeppelin, The Cars, Elton John, Chicago, The Police, etc.

I was also surrounded by a lot great musicians as a kid. We formed a band. My grandfather was a great singer and played the ukulele, so he was a big influence on me. I started singing standards in college, and then I got hooked on Frank and Tony Bennett, Chet Baker, Nat Cole, etc.

Particularly, you are known as a ‘crooner.’ Can you explain that term to the readers who may not be familiar with music terms?

PB: The term ‘crooner’ suggests a singer who sings songs of the great ‘American Songbook’ standards. (The Great American Songbook, also known as “American Standards”, is the canon of the most important and influential American popular songs and jazz standards from the early 20th century.)


Patrick’s music video for his Frank Sinatra cover,
“One for My Baby (and One More For The Road).”

What are your favorite genres to sing? What genres do you find yourself listening to?

PB: I love singing all genres. Especially Rock & Jazz. Recently, I’ve been singing more R&B. I’m currently working on a new record. I listen to everything from Jazz, to Rock, to Hip-Hop. Whatever suits my mood. 

What is on your bucket list for the film or music industry that you haven’t done yet in your career?

PB: As a far as a bucket list goes, I would love to do a Western, be in an Asian action film (I’m a big fan of Korean Action Films), play at the Hollywood Bowl, and work with David Fincher again.

Is there anyone in the industry that you haven’t worked with that you would love to work with?

PB: I would love to work with Spielberg.

If you aren’t acting or singing, what are you doing with your time?

PB: If I’m not working, I’m usually at the gym, playing basketball, traveling, people watching, or catching a new film. I also love live music, and I am a news junkie.

Do you have a ‘hidden’ talent that people are not aware of beyond your music and acting?

PB: I’m an excellent whistler. I’m also a Christopher Walken impersonator.

The closure of this interview: A simple, but fun questionnaire of this or that:

Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
Superheroes: DC or Marvel? DC
Music Genres: Hip-Hop or Country? Hip-Hop
Movie Genres: Documentary or Action? Action
Dinning out or dinning in? Dinning Out
Acting or singing? Today, it’s singing. (smiling).

Thank you, Patrick, for taking some time with me and allowing me to ask you some questions and to get to know you more beyond the Coffin franchise. I can’t wait to hang out with you and interview you again on the set of Coffin 3 soon enough (smiling).

Q&A Feature: Shannon Ahn

ShannonI met this author a year ago at the La Femme Nikita Reunion Convention in Toronto, Ontario. A friendship blossomed through similar articulate discoveries inspired by the one show we all are known to love. I want to take a moment, put a spotlight on, and get to know this up and coming author.

Right off the bat, can you give the audience an elevator speech to sell them on who Shannon Ahn is?

Shannon Ahn: I’m a genre-blending author who combines science fiction, action, romance, and mystery in my books to create entertaining stories that readers can get sucked into and escape reality for a little while.

Can you tell us the synopsis of your Crossing Realms series?

SA: Crossing Realms is about Nina Adler, a young woman who discovers that her dreams are a window to another world. When Nina begins to have intense, action-packed dreams about being an FBI agent, she dismisses them as nothing more than fun distractions from her mundane life, but when she falls in love with a man in her dreams and he appears in her real life, she finds out that her dreams contain deeper meaning than she first thought and that she possesses incredible powers.Crossing Realms Part One Amazon Cover

*ALERT ALERT* You can download Crossing Realms – Part One from Amazon for FREE from July 2 to July 6, 2018myBook.to/CrossingRealmsPartOne

What inspired you to become a writer in the first place?

SA: My dad was a writer. He was a journalist for many years, and he also wrote a novel that won an award in South Korea. He told me his dream was to write a memoir, but unfortunately he passed away before he could do that. So I’ve always thought maybe I should be a writer too, but I never considered it seriously until a few years ago when I was at a crossroads in my life and had the opportunity to pursue my interests.

What is your favorite genre to write?

SA: Apparently I can’t decide because I mix different genres!

One advice out there is that to be a great writer, you need to be an avid re

ader. Are you an avid reader when you aren’t writing, or are there other interests that spark your writing and creativity?

SA: I’m an introvert, so I love being alone and lost in a good book or a TV show. I’m definitely a bingereader/watcher. I try to read as much as I can, but when I’m in a writing phase such as when I’m working on a first draft, I tend to focus more on watching things because I get inspired by visuals. Before I write anything, I have to see it in my head first like a scene in a movie. A cool song can also help me come up with characters and scenes.

What is your go-to genre to read when you aren’t in a writing spell?

SA: If I can pick any kind of book to read just for fun, I’d go for chick lit, something light and funny.

LFN TRIBUTEAs I started reading the first part of Crossing Realms, I immediately noticed how “Nikita-esq” the details are. Has the show inspired you to write this particular story?

SA: Some parts of Crossing Realms were definitely inspired by La Femme Nikita, one of my favorite shows of all time. In fact, there is an Easter egg for La Femme Nikita fans in all three parts of Crossing Realms. But the original inspiration for my series was my dreams. I’ve had many dreams where I fell madly in love with a man and became completely immersed in another world, and when I woke up, I was disoriented because the dream and my emotions in it felt absolutely real. So when I decided to try writing fiction, I wanted to write a story about a woman who finds out that her dreams are special. What if your dreams are more than just dreams?

You just published the third installment for Crossing Realms. Will there be a fourth part? How many parts total do you have in the works before this story-line is complete?

SA: Crossing Realms has three parts total. Later this summer I’ll be publishing a “box set” of the complete trilogy as one eBook and also a paperback which I’m really excited about. I’ll finally get to hold my book in my hands! There will be a sequel to Crossing Realms that continues Nina’s story, but I’m going to expand the scope of the story and tell it from multiple characters’ points of view. After that, I don’t know if there will be another book in this series. I’m going to see where the story takes me and stay true to the characters.

Are you working on any other stories, or just focused on the series you currently have?

SA: My main focus is writing my current series, but I’m also interested in writing short stories. I plan to take some time this year to learn more about writing short stories and maybe enter a short story contest.

What’s something you would like to share about the writer’s life that many probably wouldn’t know in general?

SA: Hmm… Well, I used to think of being a writer as something romantic and kind of glamorous, like an interesting and intelligent person sitting in a chic café typing away on their sleek laptop and effortlessly coming up with gorgeous sentences that magically flow together to create a moving story that changes people’s live, or something like that. But that’s not how it is for me at all. I write at home because I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anywhere else. I write very slowly and agonize over every sentence. And rewrites… There are so. many. rewrites. I didn’t know before writing my books just how much editing and proofreading need to be done before publishing.

Can you share the most highlighted moment in your life currently?

SA: My husband and I recently booked a trip to Paris for September to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary! It might seem kind of cliché, but Paris has a special meaning for me. I went there in the summer of 2006 with a friend. I’d been dating my now-husband for about two years, and I was trying to decide if I should continue our relationship because it was getting serious and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But when I went to Paris and saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time, all I could think was how much I wished he was there with me. That was when I realized how important he is to me and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him and see the world together. So I’ve been dreaming about going back to Paris with him since then, and it’s going to happen this year!

Outside of writing stories, what are your other interests and hobbies that you invest your time in?

SA: I love traveling, so I’m constantly researching or watching videos about different places I want to visit someday and foods I want to try.

Do you have a visual of where you see yourself in five years? How about ten years?

SA: Professionally, I’m really enjoying writing, even with all the challenges that come with it. For the first time in my life, I’ve found something that just feels right to me. So I hope I’ll still be writing in the next five and ten years, learning more about the craft and improving my skills along the way. On a more personal level, I feel extremely grateful for the life I have, and I look forward to finding out what the universe has in store for me in the future. Hopefully more trips abroad, new adventures, exciting plot
twists, and lots and lots of yummy food.

Thank you Shannon for taking the time for this interview. I really enjoyed my time with you. Don’t forget, readers, you can check out and download Crossing Realms – Part One from Amazon for FREE from July 2 to July 6, 2018.

Follow the link–>> myBook.to/CrossingRealmsPartOne

Also you can check her out at her website, shannonahn.com.

Film Recommendation: Nocturne

*Caution: May Contain Spoilers! Read at Your Own Will*

Saul Pincus. Who is the guy? Well, if you have a deep admiration for the show La Femme Nikita you would know. But for those who simply don’t, Saul is one of many individuals from the production team I met last year in Toronto for the Reunion Convention celebrating 20 years of LFN. He is now a Toronto-based editor and co-wrote and directed this independent cinematographic gem, Nocturne.
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I finally got around to watching this film, not once, but twice. Yes, I said twice. The opening few scenes was a continuous puzzle for your curiosity. I found myself wondering through the first five minutes like, “What the fuck is going on?”

This sophisticated story needs your undivided attention through and through for you to know exactly what’s going on. Multi-tasking when you hit play is not a fucking option, because guarantee suddenly the climax will catch your eye and you will just stop what you are doing in the forefront.

Picture it: One minute I am working on my photo editing from one of my current projects and then…. …BAM! Duct tape, screaming, and the screech of the tires from the car hit you. From that instant you walk away, mid-edit, grab your Smart TV remote and stop the film as you think to yourself, “What the fuck just happened? I thought this film was about an insomnia and sleep-walker?” That’s when you go back to the menu and click on the option, ‘play from the beginning.’

I should have known better. All the independent films I have saw over the years from Canada has been anything, but disappointments. It’s what I strive for with my very own storytelling. As for those who love to study film beyond the story-telling, let me tell you…

…the cinematography is on point and was so up close and personal with the scenes and the actors throughout the film. The original story itself is authentic. Nothing I ever expected from a film before. I love that. The articulate transitions between the backstories and the original story, the animations were brilliant. At the end of it all, this film was a brilliant masterpiece. A one of it’s kind. I highly suggest anyone with a love for film to take 90 minutes, give or take, of their time to watch it.

Saul, by chance if you read this. I cannot wait for more of your projects to blossom. An amazing job in the directing and writing of this film. You’ve shown you’ve learned so much in the art of film with the trail you have left so far in your career. Bravo!

Cover Release & Synopsis of Fallen Angel

I have a lot of good stuff going on for me including the continuation of my Q&A segments, as well as, updating my website & blog site. Growing my network at ease by my continuous writing and reaching out. What’s most exciting in my life, this fall is my last semester for my second college degree, then it’s off to California!!

But, let’s focus on my short term goals this summer. I am getting closer and closer with my fourth book to be published which will extend beyond just my poetry and include a few short stories I have written in a three-part installment. I am currently in the final editing phase of this book.

This collection of poetry reveals a deeper root of my seventh sense of this world. More of my spiritual side connected with my passion for nature, love, and mythology. Am I taking a bold chance? Possibly. It’s worth it though. This is me. The rawest side of all my layers.

Here is a sneak peak of a few poems & the updated and final version of the book cover that will be featured on my next book:


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