Staring at my Chesapeake Bay candle, listening to the show Renegade in the background on the Heroes & Icons TV channel, and mentally beating my brain to force out the ideas that live co-existentially in there. This is a slow day. All I can think about is a detoxifying bubble bath to cleanse and mediate for a few minutes to redirect my body, heart, and soul beyond the distractions that seem to put up a brick wall. I can’t see what my curiosity aches for.
The week consists of 40 hour work week to keep on the tax radar and 40+ hours of school and study for my future as a videography adventurer into the wilderness. A complete 180 of what three months of nothing did for me, which was… nothing. No progress, no writing, all procrastination and struggling with moving past my first and hopefully last robbery I have experienced in this fairly new city I find myself in. The challenges of my comfort, truly tested. Um, to the point of keeping low key with my life and just surround myself with my past. I thought of going back to that lifestyle. The lifestyle that almost drowned me. Taking ten steps back wasn’t the answer. So questions were asked amongst myself while enjoying the reruns of shows like Renegade, Walker:Texas Ranger, Star Trek, Hercules, & Xena.
All this nostalgic TV series reruns on one of my new channels changed that procrastinating mindset, along with my new job and returning for my last year of college life. The week days aren’t easy. I sleep when I can between classes since my work hours are of my calling, on third shift. I barely have time to cook my meals and eat like I would like, so I find myself ordering pizza. I order a lot of pizza. Not as healthy as I want to be, but it’s pizza! It’s better than eating pizza rolls daily.
I hear stories from successful artists who are and have been in the main spotlight, so to speak. We all have one thing in common, we all make sacrifices to become bigger and better than our old artistic selves. Okay I lied; we all have two things we have in common. The second is motivation. Motivation to be more than what you see yourself and what others see you as. The universe is just that. For us to look beyond the life we all have been placed in. Mind over matter. Speaking of matter, I need to follow through my gym membership this week, because my mind says so.
My mind is also telling me to edit a video interview I shot on Tuesday, so I don’t get behind on my classes and I can continue on the YouTube series pre-production that I have came up with that could possibly change our lives, and not just mine. The world needs a voice, and this voice is finding new stories everyday to shine a light on during this chaos and attempts of order. So back to the writing I go, since I write better than I speak when I explain things of ‘Murica’ value or uneducated value and if the trolls don’t like it, fuck it. I refuse to live in fear, I refuse to be silent, and I refuse to allow others to tell me how to live my life. I will speak my truth, my visuals, and my peace. Now, back to your regular broadcasting…