Everybody Handles Their Shit Differently

Working on “relationship issues” by
working on my relationship with Sterling.

Equestrian therapy has been an intervention for me in a sense. A relationship intervention mainly in hope to being able to trust again fully to open myself up and fully be comfortable to be naked with my soul mate someday (I’m not talking sexually either). I seem vulnerable, because I am an unfiltered individual. It has it’s advantages and disadvantages.

Especially when you were told that children are raised to be seen, not heard. I never could take that outlook likely. I still don’t, but from positive role models in the public eye, I learned myself that actions speak louder than words and words can be powerful even if they are selective in deliverance. You just need the skill set to be persuasive. It’s easier when actions are backed up by your words.

Anyways, I had time to think outside the box a bit today considering my therapy session was light-hearten by freelance photography and interaction with the other horses throughout the pastures. Not sure if Sterling was truly happy to have the day off unannounced or not.

The advantage of today was to think of how other PTSD survivors cope with their life, because reality, we all don’t really heal fully back to our original selves, prior to the events that changed our worlds. We just learn to cope with it.

For me, I cope better due to knowing my comfort and my passions that are outlets to my anguish. For others, dogs do wonders. For me, it’s my relationship with horses. I can’t describe it, it was mystical since the day I placed my foot on ground here at Trinity. Yeah, I have dogs for pets. There for home remedies only, not social remedies. Again, that’s the horses’ job.

When it comes to socializing with friends, I have to keep my small circle close and the bar to be pretty much empty. I close up when random drunk strangers are in presence. This is why I barely go out anymore except to my regular spots in town during the week. The weekend is out of the question when it comes to socializing in public. Another reason why you see me very seldom go to concerts or big events, and if I go, I have to be in reserve seating and not on the floor with mosh pits or large crowds. Why I prefer country music concerts, less chaos. Give me a few friends and a bonfire. I am set. Just don’t try to persuade me to drink and the night is perfect.

Other survivors are more sensitive when it comes to being unfiltered. Other survivors don’t have a problem getting on stage and doing a speech without panic attacks. Other survivors need large crowds and can’t handle being alone. Other survivors need service dogs to assist them. This is just a reality of people handling their coping mechanisms differently. I can be alone, because as a geek I can keep myself company with coffee, and my favorite films, books, & music. Thank the Lord for allowing me the gift of appreciation to the arts and entertainment industry.

I try not to judge anyone’s journey or weaknesses, for I understand. I just ask for you to not to judge mine.

Unloading The Negative Stresses To Load The Passions

I’m prepping a new chapter in my life. I am giving the civilian life a second chance after a total ten and a half years of military service.
People would question why I would give the military life a second chance after my experiences in the first round. It’s because I don’t give up easily, even if the flame diminishes in my vision.

I am not perfect, but I am an individual who looses focus once the passion is gone. The fire went out of me years ago for the army life. However, it was the only thing I knew in life, so it was hard to let go for me. Until now.

Well, not until now, but more recently as I put my insecurities away, learn to expose my vulnerability, and tell my story to the world. I realize people from my past will sham me for it. I am aware, but that doesn’t tell you who I am. That tells you who they are as a person. I would never claim as one of the best soldiers in the military. Shit, I consider myself more of an underdog.

I’m not just an underdog. I am a geek. I am embracing it. My passions are my therapy. Photography, writing, kickboxing, horses, dogs, movies, music, all are my therapy. Unfortunately other veterans who struggle with PTSD don’t find their strengths and therapeutic remedies. I have been working to rebuild my strengths.

We tend to be hesitant with coming forward with PTSD, because of the shamming it provides, not just in society, but also in the military. We need to change this stereotypical bullshit. We need to help the veterans find their new strengths outside the military life and let them openly expose their vulnerabilities without judgements.

I want veterans to stop being unsecured about their weaknesses and turn them into strengths like I have as a combat veteran poet. Learn to turn a negative into a positive. I do that with my poetry. My poetry keeps my emotions in check. On paper, it looks like a hot bi-polar mess. Reality, it helps me situate my feelings of what’s permanent and what’s temporary. I want to help and now that I’ve unloaded my military stresses more, I can help others unload theirs. I want to help others. I am tired of seeing the “22 a day…” slogan/statistics. We need to change it. Now!

A Splash Of My Geeky Side (Sports Entertainment Edition)

Credit: VS. Battles Wiki

I could easily bullshit with my sports analyst and persuasive communication skills to share my own insight of everything going in the sports entertainment today from the fair weather “professionals” all over the media. Are we really still talking about the Patriots? Seriously?

I usually keep my mouth shut with a lot of stupidity I see online, but I will give my arguments a shot in a respectable manner of course.Yes, I am feeding the trolls my classic cold dish of intelligence as I dumb down their arguments. I mean, come on… my blog, my world, my words. Here’s my intake on WWE’s status and some of their most loyal characters, especially my favorite, who’s been portrayed in almost three decades.

1) “Wrestling is Fake!”

This is an overly redundant fallacy and basically the most disrespectful argument you can throw at the athletes in WWE or any other wrestling industry that may still be floating in the shallow end. Yes, wrestling is scripted. That doesn’t mean the punches and the tombstones aren’t real. Obviously there is a reason people don’t let anyone other than Kane and Undertaker to do certain moves in the industry. It isn’t because it’s fake. By the way, if you read upon The Undertaker’s background, you would know of his experience of MMA training and not just wrestling. He is not just an avid fan of boxing and MMA, he also has training in his sweat and blood. To be successful, you have to mix up your fighting techniques. This is a huge reason that Taker has been one of the most successful wrestlers in WWE, other than his size.

This argument plays into the UFC vs. WWE debate. Can we just move on from the weakest arguments on whether UFC is better than WWE or not? Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of both. I was more a fan of the attitude era in WWE, but just like the music industry and film industry, nobody stays on top forever. So, yeah. UFC is more popular than WWE, but continually evolving provides different audience targets for marketing purposes for both markets, so stop comparing the two.

2) “Oh Em Gee! The wrestlers can act?!”WWE changed from wrestling to sports entertainment. Part of it was the story lines, scripts, and characters formed by the wrestlers. Oh Em Gee, their not only athletes! Not only do the wrestlers sacrifice their bodies, they act out the story lines. No, Kane and Taker aren’t brothers or step-brothers in real life. Let those rumors fly out of the chicken coupe already or as Elsa would sing, “Let It Go.” Or how does Dwayne put it? He puts it like Tay-Tay and “Shake It Off.” There is a reason that Dwayne is looked at as Hollywood’s franchise savior and it isn’t JUST his good looks.

In the UFC, they fight. Not act out story lines. The end.

3) “_______ needs to retire! He’s not the same anymore.”

Okay. Even though I could agree on particular wrestlers that it’s time for them to put up their boots, it is not us who knows these individuals bodies like they know themselves. Seeing them on TV doesn’t do justice for how they feel in real life. Yes, we know Undertaker did an interview 13 years ago and he wasn’t expecting to still be wrestling at 49 like he was explaining, but guess what. Change is inevitable and 13 years later he’s still putting his boots on mainly for Wrestlemania and the fans at the age of 50.

If you are sick of watching certain wrestlers, turn off the TV and cancel your subscription of WWE Network and save yourself $9.99 a month.

See, I am an Undertaker fan through and through, no matter how long he decides to wrestles or decides to put up his boots and gloves. Why I am usually only in tune to WWE periodically and not consistently. I’ll be honest, I have and always have the same respect towards Kane whether masked or unmasked. Not many fans don’t realize that Glenn Jacobs also played “Fake Diesel” & “Isaac Yankem, DDS” before he became “Kane”.  Shit, now I’m in the mood to watch See No Evil & See No Evil 2. The rest of you that claim the WWE Universe need to educate yourself past the RAW & Smackdown shows and watch interviews and the documentaries that are provided for us fans.

Is that all? The arguments of how WWE sucks these days is minimum and annoying. I do have my own tastes when it comes to WWE, but I am not going to act like I know more of the business than the exact people who participate and work in it. I will still respect those before me as I continue down my martial arts path, especially my all-time favorite athlete, Undertaker.

And if you all want to hide behind a keyboard and talk shit about the athletes who worked their asses off for decades in the entertainment field, at least have the guts to say it to their face and not from a couch while you stuff potato chips in your face.

Enough rambling from me. Time for movies and chill-time after a successful day. God speed.

Philosophical Vision: Ethics


We should act based on The Minimum Corception of Morality guide, through reason as well as regards to others. When it comes to ethics, there are three positive criticisms we should all know and be aware of, utilitarianism, deontology, and virtue. 
According to Richard Kraut, Aristotle follows Socrates and Plato in taking the virtues to be central to a well-lived life. The virtue characteristics include justice, courage, temperance, etc. Aristotle also understood that we need a proper appreciation of such goods as friendship, pleasure, honor, wealth, and virtue all play into one another as a whole. 
Virtue outweighs both utilitarianism and deontology on the ethics scale. Not all theories are black and white. For example the things we must do or not must do. We all know lying is a negative criteria of ethics, but with a situation between an inquiring murder, lying would be considered protecting your friend’s or your family’s life. 
Utilitarianism consists of the quantitative and qualitative measures of pleasures. Bentham’s hedonic calculus shows that not everyone’s levels of pleasures are the same. Compare a human with maybe a dog. The utilities vary as well as the pleasures. 
However Aristotle doesn’t follow Plato with sciences and metaphysics are needed for the understanding of one’s ethics. Considering there are three deficiencies of virtue, which consist of people in the categories, continence, incontinence, vice. For example, the evil individuals who wholeheartedly plan to endorse evil whatever it may be. 
For those who fall under the deficiencies, without metaphysics or sciences, we wouldn’t be able to “fix” those with psychological needs to adjust their virtue to where it needs to be. Back to the “Golden Mean”, the mean between the two extremes.    
Work Cited
Kraut, Richard, “Aristotle’s Ethics”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (spring 2012 Edition). Web. 11/19/2012. .