Dear Dad, Part II (Poetry)


Dear Dad;
I want to thank you for my green eyes,
and this head of hair, but rumor has it, not my height.
Unfortunately that is the only thanks I can give you,
Regardless if you know if I even exist or not.
Unfortunately I can’t keep up with the truth anymore,
No matter how hard I have fought.
If you know of me,
I just want you to know I don’t care like I did before.
If you want to get to know me.
That be great, but I am not holding my breath for another day.
Closure for me doesn’t have to be a happy ever after.
 
I wouldn’t be surprised if you were an asshole,
From the stories I’ve been told.
I was only four years-old!
You walked out after two weeks of barely knowing me,
How you must’ve been disappointed.
Must have been hell since I never saw a day of child-support.
You wouldn’t know of the fantasies and dreams I would turn to,
when it comes to reality, I thwart.
If I could choose my own father, I would.
Erase the two current candidates if I could.
I barely know who you are or what you even look like,
Other than you having the same green eyes.

Do you even know how hard it is to try and figure on my own…
How a man should properly treat a woman?
Trials and errors are a repeat in my heart,
As it continues to wear thin on my part,
Regardless of the numerous pick-up lines and flirts.
In a world where the tables keep being turned.
I could blame my mom for the sperm donors,
But at the end of the day, I also inherited from her,
Finding the good in everything and everyone that came along,
No matter what may come, with or without closure.
It is just too bad you could never be my father.

2014©H.M. Gautsch

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