"Butt Hurt (What Do You Know?)" (Poetry)


Another day, another dollar
Another moment that I’ve disappointed you…
But what did you expect me to do?
Sugar coat the shit? come on I was only being honest…
I thought you be happy to hear me be able to express my emotions,
Be confident with where I’m going…
With my life and knowing exactly what I wanted.
But the tables are turned, even as you keep playing your cards.
If I wanted a soap opera of a life 24/7,
I would audition for “The Young & Restless”
If I wanted all this drama and a partner sensitive 24/7,
I’d still be fucking dating crazy women.
It wasn’t the sex that drew me away from the lesbians,
It was all of the pitiful acting from the thespians.
So before you want to manipulate me with your speech,
Know that your persuasive defense doesn’t work, you’ve been breached.
So best of luck, my state of mind is off to vacation on a sunny beach.
While it’s time to just agree to disagree,
We aren’t getting anywhere with a plea.

I’m not butt hurt. I’m not guilty.
Even after all the times I’ve put down my guard.
What do you even know?
You are hardly around to see how…
I am living, full-confidence with my guard down.

Ain’t it funny how the only time my self-esteem is low,
Is when you are around to rub my past into my face?
You must enjoy punching the blow,
By trying to tell me what to wear for what place.
Why don’t you believe that I’ve progressed, you can see it in my poems,
Where my flow exposes my self-esteem and my soulful seed becomes a rose.
I’m sorry I can’t be the woman you wish I would be.
No matter how many storms, no matter how many wars…
It’s a curse, but also a blessing for how I’m outspoken. It’s 2014, not 1863.
Time is changing and we need to evolve with it, or be left behind, remain unrefined.
You tell me to focus on my good times, why don’t you do the same?
Stop being hypocritical in your advice, and let me live my own life,
My own mistakes, my own goals, my own sacrifice…
Stop being disappointed in what I don’t have (money).
Be proud of what I can accomplish (change).
Sometimes I wonder who it is you really blame.
Are you ashamed that you don’t have the courage to do the same?
I guess it’s best to just agree to disagree,
We aren’t getting anywhere with a plea.

What do you know?
I’m not butt hurt. I’m not guilty.
Even after all the times I’ve put down my guard.
What do you even know?
You are hardly around to see how…
I am living, full-confidence with my guard down.
What do you know?
You are the fuel for my creative tools..
What do you know?
What if I told you the truth?
Do you even read my stories, my poems?
Maybe you would know…
You are the fuel for my creative tools.. 
©H.M. Gautsch

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