Let Me Have The Last Dance (Poetry)


The day we met.

Instant attraction,

The sparks remain in flight.

I can’t deny you.

I’m your type,

And you’re my kind of guy.

So why do we fear,

Of what’s right in front of us?

Fear of love and our love of fear,

Due to our own battle scars and cuts.

Let us open these wounds,

Be vulnerable together.

Can you imagine?

Any other picture perfect love affair?

Let my confidence speak.

I can be the best you’ve had,

And you for me.

The understanding and communication,

Of our personal demons,

Goes afar across the seas.

And around the world.

Let’s conquer and overcome as one.

Believe me when I tell you who I see,

When I look right through you.

Balance the emotional and sexual healing,

With intellectual revealing.

Game of chance,

Let me have the last dance.

2014©H.M. Gautsch

Sunday Funday – "The Wood" Sneak Peak Weekend

Lawrence, Chante’, & Cliff

I feel I may have shed a few pounds from the event this weekend. It was crowded and a sauna, but a good times were had with witty tongues & laughter with most of the crew I was with. It was also a good opportunity to meet new people and make new possible connections down in Chicago. Each event also gives me checks, errors, and knowledge of how to improve my networking and business skills.

Here’s my philosophy for success, fear limits people’s opportunities. The best intellectual information you can gather is through your own personal experiences and admitted wrongs. That is why I am not afraid to step out of my city and expand. That is why I keep moving forward with or without others, no regrets or apologies needed. Even if I am the only white girl in the whole damn room. Jokes aside, I don’t let skin color phase me. The people in my life know that my curiosity allows me to social in any situation & in any environment around the world peacefully. At the end of the day, we all have our own stories. We just need to educate ourselves when it’s personal or just business. Majority of the time, for me, it’s just business. That is how I keep moving forward in the industries of my choices.

Paris, Me, Franklin, & Jay

Lawrence Williams of Law Films & Clifford Cook, the mastermind of the project, hosted the All White Party on Friday Night @ The Loft 308. A successful event with over 100 cast, crew, & supporters, coming to show their love for The Wood, an upcoming TV/web series in the works. I was there to practice my photography skills and capture the memorable night.

Shaun, Franklin, Me, Jay, & Lawrence

I had the opportunity to talk with non-CCIU members who also feel and are approaching the necessity of bringing Chicago together and end the unnecessary violence & segregation in the hoods. That is the purpose of this project, in my viewpoint. To make awareness of Chicago’s lifestyles and to bring people together instead of segregating based on the neighborhoods they are from.

Of course the CCIU crew was representing strong and supporting throughout the night. More pictures will be revealed on my Twitter & my Facebook soon. Stay tuned.

As I Lie Awake (Poetry)

Eagerly waiting on what dreams

Waits for me on this…
Cool and collected mid-summer nigh’.
To welcome my request into fantasy
Crickets whistle slowly fades,
I am delivered into a refreshing ride.
As I lie awake,
Hypnosis transfers my surreal mind,
Touches my emotions, as I fall asleep.
I’m battling between two comas,
Two separate lives.
In confusion, new scenery comes to life.
I am aware,
But my other life remains in control.
I allow it like a child lost in a book.
Are dreams just pure fantasies?
Or reality waiting
For the time to be revealed for a purpose.
Taking notes on each episode,
For each season.
To the illusion of what’s to hold.
2014©H.M. Gautsch

Fan Fiction – La Femme Nikita Part VI.


*Disclaimer: Infringement not intended. Character names owned by La Femme Nikita Production & USA Network. Most of the terms are known terms based off the show, if you want a resource of what a word means, you can visit the LFN Forever website’s encyclopedia at http://lfnforever.tripod.com/id36.htm. 

Shayne Samuelle-Jones & Eric Sven are characters personally created by H.M. Gautsch. Infringement not intended.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shayne’s Apartment 
Shayne is doing her morning workout routine as she does sit ups in the living room with the bottom of her couch holding her feet. In the background, the music transitions from the end of “Hero” by Pop Evil to the beginning of “Call Me” by Shinedown as she finishes her last set. Sweat pours down her face as she makes her way to sit upon the couch. The song seems to direct her to reminiscing all the events that have occurred with her family. She grabs the towel on top of the stereo system and wipes her face. There is a knock at the door. Shayne looks towards the door and slowly makes her away. She looks into the peep hole and notices it being Nikita. She unlocks the door and opens. As more of the apartment is revealed, there is a set-up of sunglasses hanging along the island in the kitchen, like as Nikita once organized in her old apartment years ago when she first started with Section One.  Nikita is in a long black leather dress w/ a black blouse and black gloves. In her hands, she holds red sun glasses to show the small individualism she has left while she still holds as Operations. Nikita walks in and observes the apartment.
Shayne – “Hey, mother. What brings you here this morning?”
Nikita – “I figured I stop by to see how you are settling in your new digs before I head into work. Really impressive.”
Nikita looks at the sunglasses set up and heads to the island. She takes her right hand and glides it across the glasses like she had once before, but in a slower matter. She smiles.
Nikita – “It looks like you are making it your home, Shayne.” 
Shayne – “Doing what I can to be at comfort.”
Shayne heads to the kitchen to grab a glass and fill it with water. Nikita sits at one of the bar stools at the island. Shayne signals with her glass to her mother as she swallows a sip of water.
Shayne – “Mmm… Would you like something to drink?”
Nikita – “Tea would be nice.” 
As Shayne grabs her tea kettle from a cupboard and fills it with water, she continues her conversation with Nikita.
Shayne – “So, what time do you have to report in?”
Nikita – “Your father is already in work prepping for the briefing at 0800 hours, so I have a couple hours yet.”
Shayne puts the kettle on the stove and turns on the stove.
Shayne – “It’s actually become a nice thing to have him return overall. I must admit.”
Nikita smiles at Shayne’s confession.
Shayne continues.
Shayne – “Six months ago, if you would have asked me then, I wouldn’t have even believed life would be like this. We have the most fucked up job in the world, however, with the family together. It feels normal and complete. I must be growing up.”
Nikita – “I must admit, I am impressed with you, Shayne.”
Shayne returns a smile back at her mother as she leans her back and hands against the kitchen counter, while remaining eye contact with Nikita.
Section One – The Perch
Michael is going over a few panels from the previous missions in the last week that Jasmine, Mendez, and the new recruit, Eric Sven, have been on separately. He continues with his tech-savvy skills set and also observes Shayne’s progress notes from the therapist that he hired to help with her nightmares. He switches the profile access to Adam’s status with the Gelman Process. Michael notices a decryption in the profile as the Gelman Process seems to deteriorate in Adam’s mind. Michael calls for Madeline.
Michael – “Madeline.”
Madeline appears as a hologram next to Michael and observes alongside to discover his concern.
Michael – “What is going on with Adam?”
Madeline – “We should have seen this coming considering Nikita’s same recovery from the Gelman Process.”
Michael – “Can anything be done?”
Madeline – “A rerun in the process, but even that is a high risk in itself.”
Michael – “Explain.”
Madeline – “We only have so much Intel from Dr. Gelman with the process. We only received 45% of his accomplishments before he was untraceable. It was never fully completed in a production to successfully turn the brain waves 100%. Why do you think you were able to successfully reverse the process with Nikita? If we were able to attract 100% of Gelman’s process, you would have never have been able to bring the old Nikita back.”
Michael – “So, Adam is slowly returning to his old self?”
Madeline – “That’s the highest probability at this rate.”
Michael pulls out his cell phone from his pocket and dials a speed dial number in his phone. He puts the phone to his ear and waits for an answer on the other end.
Michael – “Josephine.”
Section One – Van Access
The clearance is made above the door to the entrance of Section. The door opens and there stands Nikita in the same attire and Shayne in her new attire, black slacks, a grey button down shirt, black vest, & grey/black bandana, black jewelry accessories, & her black framed eye glasses as her last touch. It is officially known that Shayne has a taste of fashion like her mom, but also with her own style, as she sports black biker boots, as Nikita sports high heels. Both Shayne & Nikita head towards Comms, where Jason is revealed for a visit to Section. 
Shayne – “Well, if it isn’t good ole’ Jason.” 
Shayne says with a smile and hugs him from behind, as he seems to be going through some numbers in the system. 
Jason – “Hello, darlin’.”
Shayne – “How have you been?”
Shayne sits in a chair next to Jason. As Jason and Shayne plays catch up, Nikita continues to walk towards the Perch, where Michael is standing and watching over Section. Nikita looks up to Michael and they meet eyes.  
Section One – The Perch
Nikita enters the perch, as Michael picks up the window’s remote and dims it from the exterior. 
Nikita – “Good morning, love.”
Michael – “Good morning.”
Nikita goes straight into business with the conversation as both are used to putting Section’s business before their relationship, for the security of their children.
Nikita – “How are the numbers holding?”
Michael – “Decent. We remain at 98% success rate. Highest in all of Oversight.”
Nikita – “Brilliant. And Eric? It’s his one year review.”
Michael – “I know.”
Nikita – “And?” 
Michael – “He has his distractions.”
Nikita – “And?”
Michael – “He’s not the only one.” 
Nikita – “Considering him being in his mid-30s, he does have a lot of work cut out for him.”
Michael – “Patience.” 
Nikita looks over Eric’s profile, a handsome lad from Sweden.
Nikita – “Well, at least he doesn’t have a problem with getting women’s attention.”
Michael – “That’s why we brought him.”
Nikita – “As well as his history in the government with counter terrorism expertise. I feel he is one of the best assets we have found in a long time.” 
Michael – “We shall see.”
Michael and Nikita change the direction of their attention back down to Comms and watches as Eric appears to converse with Jason and Shayne.
Section One – Comms
Jason is finishing up his system checks on the main computer. Shayne is chilling next to him, half-spinning around in her chair like a little school girl.
Jason – “Alright. That should do it.”
Eric and Jasmine walk by as they are walking towards the training bay for Eric’s physical training of the day. Eric is in all black, muscle shirt and sweat pants, as Jasmine is in similar clothes style. Jasmine continues to walk, as Eric stops by as he discovers Shayne & Jason.
Eric – “Morning.”
Shayne – “Morning, Eric.” 
Jason – “Morning. I’m Jason, from Oversight.”
Eric – “Good to meet you. I’m Eric. A new recruit with a middle-age for this place.”
Jason examines Eric’s body.
 
Jason – “Looks like you don’t have a problem fitting in.”
Shayne – “He’s one of our new Valentine Ops.”
Jason – “I can see why, but don’t worry. You aren’t really my type. I wish you the best of luck, Eric. Just don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. It won’t make your job any easier.”
Jason smiles at Eric and Shayne giggles. Jason stands up and closes his suit case. Shayne stands up with him. He directs his next line towards Shayne.
Jason – “Alright, love. Tell your folks it was good seeing y’all.”
Shayne – “I will, J.” 
Jason leaves Comms and heads to Van Access with two security operatives, who appears from the crowd of Section ops working. Jasmine re-appears in Comms.
Jasmine – “Eric, we are on a tight schedule today. Come on.”
Eric – “Sorry, Jasmine.”
Eric smiles at Shayne and follows Jasmine to the training bay.
Section One – Briefing Table
Nikita is at the head of the table where Operations once stood. The line at the briefing goes as such from Nikita’s left to right, Michael, Shayne, Mendez, Stephen, Griff, & Adam. Nikita starts the meeting as she turns on the holographic profile displayed digitally on the table. 
Nikita – “This is Fredrick Baigne. There is evidence that he is in the progress of awakening the sleeper-cell, Glass Curtain through Red Cell and having them join forces in terrorism activities against Western Europe. His first target is Madrid, Spain, where he wants to plant a biological gas element in the train station’s system, so it can transfer across regions through rail transport. 
Shayne – “Didn’t Section shut down Glass Curtain years ago?”
Nikita – “Yes. In the past five years, Baigne has been recruiting and organizing the cell with the knowledge of Red Cell’s new lead, Boris Vadim.”
Shayne – “Wait…”
Michael – “Red Cell relocated to Russia two years ago, knowing the challenges of Section’s abilities to reach them.”
Shayne – “Is Red Cell attempting to brew up Cold War II by residing in Russia?”
Nikita – “It looks as if that’s their mission.”
 
Shayne – “What is the accountability like for the States? Are they aware?”
Nikita – “From my Intel, they are, but this is not our current focus.”
Shayne – “Where is Baigne?” 
Nikita – “He has a safe house in Belarus.”
Nikita switches the hologram screen to Belarus’s geographic Intel. 
Nikita – “Belarus is unstable due to the current government changing, so when we go in, we must be cautious. The safe house is located on the outskirts of Minsk, about 20 meters out of the city.”
Griff – “What’s the security probability for this place?”
Nikita – “It’s heavily armed with about 25 guards inside and out.”
Griff – “Sounds like Baigne is aware that we are going to try to obtain him.”
Nikita – “Yes. We will need as many key operatives as possible for this mission. Jasmine, Mendez, Shayne, you, Adam, and Seeks. Depending on Sven’s numbers, this may be also his first mission with Section.”
Shayne – “I don’t think he’s ready.” 
From behind the group, Jasmine and Eric overhears the briefing conversation and Eric feels that he needs to express his opinion.
Eric – “He’s ready.”
Shayne and Michael turn and sees Eric, with his arms crossed while standing tall and Jasmine behind him with her head down, as she feels she’s failed to keep him in abeyance.
Jasmine – “I apologize for the intrusion, Nikita.”
Nikita keeps silence, but exchanges eye contact with Michael. Michael helps himself out of his chair and heads towards Eric. Even though he is shorter than Eric, Eric feels Michael’s dominance and presence in Section, as he approaches. Instead of stopping, Michael walks back through the door way and pauses in front of the Comms area and turns his head towards Eric, as Eric keeps his awareness on Michael. 
Michael – “Come with me.”
Eric unfolds his arms and follows Michael towards the changing bay, which is on the other side of Van Access and is where operatives prep before heading out on a mission. 
Nikita – “Now that is taken care of, is there any more questions?”
Shayne – “What time are we assigned?”
Nikita – “2200 hours. Madeline will have your panels ready in two hours. Stand by until the panels are ready.”
Shayne nods in acceptance.
Section One: Changing Bay
Michael walks in, as Eric follows. Without words, Michael grabs a bullet proof vest. He turns and puts the vest out for Eric to grab.
Michael – “If you want Shayne’s attention, prove to her what kind of operative you are through your actions, not words.”
Eric grabs the bullet proof vest and tries it on.
 
Eric – “Is your statement your way of approving my hope to successfully pursue?”
Eric smiles at Michael, as Michael remains in his stealth image.
Michael – “No.”
Eric’s smile fades, as he keeps eye contact on Michael, as Michael adjusts the fit of the vest.
Michael – “Panels will be ready in two hours. After you grab your panel, you will be directed to munitions to be issued your 9 mil and other weapons that may be assigned to you during this mission.”
Eric – “Roger.”
Michael leaves the changing room and heads back towards the perch. Eric remains in the room and sits on a bench to think of the life he is now in.
Section One – Munitions
Shayne, Jasmine, Mendez, & Griff are all in their tactical gear and gathering their weapons and equipment for the upcoming mission. Eric arrives.
Jasmine – “You ready for this?”
Eric – “As ready as I can be.”
Stephen walks up to Eric from the back.
Stephen – “Alright, newbie. What does your panel say?”
Eric looks on his panel, confused, as to not being able to find the equipment list. He hits a few buttons and a relief expression lays on his face.
Eric – “9 Mil Pistol, five grenades, & an M4 assault weapon.”
Stephen – “Well, looks like someone gets to provide the fireworks show for this mission.”
The operatives smile, as they continue to pack their backs with the other necessities for the mission. Nikita walks up to the teams.
Nikita – Shayne, Michael will be on Comms back here. You are lead for this mission.”
Shayne – “Roger.”
Nikita – “To assure the highest probability for success, I am dividing Mendez and Jasmine into the two teams. Any questions?”
Everyone remains silent as they zip up their bags and start heading to Van Access.
Nikita – “Shayne.”
Shayne looks back at her mother, as Nikita signals with her finger to come here.
Shayne – “What is it?”
Nikita – “Be careful.”
Shayne smiles and kisses her mother on the cheek.
Shayne – “The one thing that remains in me during these missions, is the survival instinct of my father.”
Shayne turns and heads towards Van Access to keep up with the rest of the teams, as Michael comes up behind Nikita. Nikita becomes aware of Michael’s approach, even as he remains silent.
Nikita – “Coffee?”
Michael looks over to Nikita, as she watches the empty door way towards the Van Access. 
Michael – “Yes.”

Teaser For "Psychological Demons" II

 I will not reveal the part of the story this teaser is from, but here is a sneak peak of one of the novel projects on my list. A suspense/drama about a female combat veteran fighting her psychological war, as she tries to keep her relationship with her father alive. Hope you enjoy it!
 

 Chapter ??

            A middle-aged man clusters half-packed boxes together in a bedroom. There are little children’s drawings on the sides of two boxes and another one that’s got a rip on a flap on the top of the box. The fourth box is ducted-taped shut. The man seems flustered with what to do with the dolls in the boxes. The man, known as Joe Sydney, stands about five foot nine inches. He picks up a faded and raggedy doll, with a missing button eye. The main gazes at it, with his pierce blue eyes, like it’s showing him a video of his daughter from when she was ten in its one eye. A flashback.
            A tan, Caucasian hand knocks on the opened door of the bedroom. The entrance of the doorway reveals Joe’s brother, Victor.
            “Are you okay, Joe?” Victor asks.
            Joe responds while being still being in a trance with the doll.
            “Yeah.”
            Victor continues, “Sure feels like yesterday.”
            As Victor steps closer to help with the boxes, Joe snaps out of his trance and back into reality.
            “Huh?” Joe replies short.
            “Little Evey,”
            “Oh, yeah. You are right, Victor.”
            “She has grown to be a great woman.”
            “Eve will always be my baby girl in my eyes, Victor.”
            Victor examines his brother, as Joe returns to his frantic situation of getting the room together for Eve’s return from her tour of duty in Afghanistan. However, Joe isn’t fooled. What he fears most is change.
            “Joe, war changes people. We learned this through dad. Just don’t let it get the best of you or your relationship with Eve. You are all you two got since Mary’s passing.”
            “You are acting like you aren’t family anymore, Victor.”
            “You know what I mean, big brother.”
            Joe smiles and chuckles a bit at Victor. Victor returns with a sigh and a smile. He tosses a stuffed animal that he picked up during his conversation with his older brother. Victor then walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to help himself into the refrigerator. As he grabs an apple and heads to the island in the middle of the kitchen, he notices a military newspaper with the headlines, “First Female in Front Line Unit Returns Home.” He picks it up to notice Eve on the front cover with her Army fatigues on, dirt on her face, a 9M on her hip holster, and a M4 at the low ready and loaded for any event to exploit. Victor takes the newspaper back to Eve’s bedroom where Joe is still packing the childish objects.
            “Joe, what the hell is this?!”
            Joe looks up once again at Victor to wonder what he is addressing, and widens his eyes as if he’s been guilty of something. Joe takes a deep sigh as Victor continues integrating his brother.
            “Is Eve asking for a death wish with this new task? Why didn’t you prevent her from signing up for this?!” The intensity grew in Victor’s voice as the protective uncle trait reveals itself in his questions.
            “Victor, calm down. I may not agree with her decisions, but they are hers to make. She’s 21 now. I can’t control her choices, as much as I would like to.”
            “I am not sure if I should be calm or concerned about your collective approach to this discovery.”
            “Trust me, I already went through my grieving and unacceptance process with her before she left for basic two years ago. She has become one of the best soldiers the Army has ever experienced with.”
            “Well, I am glad you feel that way.” Victor’s reply was short and sweet, but his voice still revealed a bit of anger for Joe’s secret. There was an awkward pause before Joe insisted a drink or two to ease the tension.
            “Let’s head to Frankie’s Bar for a couple rounds. I will explain more once you ease yourself a bit.” There was a pause as Joe moved the last box to the closet to organize a bit before he and Victor left the house. Joe continues, “I am surprised you aren’t taken this better than I. I thought I be more of the protective parent for Eve.”
            “I guess I am more disappointed in you keeping the secret from me. We use to tell each other everything when we were kids, Joe.”
            “I’m sorry, Vic. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll buy tonight. All rounds.”
            “I can’t refuse that offer.” Victor smiles. “Alright, you are forgiven.” Vic pauses. “This time!”
            The guys make their way to Joe’s red F150 Ford truck that is parked in the driveway. Joe climbs into the driver side, as Vic climbs on the passenger side. The truck is started up and starts driving out of the driveway and down the road.
The house seems to sit just on the outskirts of a small city, population of about 15,000. Enough people to make an honest living in Oregon. The town, Coos Bay, sits on the Pacific coast for an extraordinary view for the ocean front property.  It’s a perfect time of year for the scenery as the trees reveal through the color changes of mid-Autumn.
 Chapter ??
“SGT Sydney,” yells the commanding officer in front of the formation of soldiers in an outdoor environment. The environment is mixed with mountains, sand, brushes, burbs, barbed wire, and guard towers. It’s a forward operating base in the midst of Afghanistan. A couple of apaches fly over the formation towards the mountains in the distance, as Eve runs from her place in the formation, as squad leader for the fourth squad. Eve stands about 5’8” with brown, medium hair and blue eyes. She stands at attention in front of her commanding officer, Captain Forester. A tall, 6’0” male, brown hair, brown eyes. Eve salutes, as the commanding officer salutes back. 
“Attention to Order! The Department of the Army has awarded Sergeant (promotable) Eve J. Sydney the Army Commendation Medal for outstanding service during Operation Enduring Freedom while being the first female to serve in Alpha Company, 10thMountain Division, in combative missions. Her dedication to the unit’s mission, superior performance, and leadership greatly add success to the deployment. Sergeant Eve J. Sydney’s actions are in keeping with the highest traditions of the United States Army, bringing great credit upon herself, Alpha Company, the 10th Mountain Division, and the United States Army,” scripted by a fellow soldier in front of the formation.
As the commander finishes pinning the award on Eve, the rest of the formation applauds in sync with one another, along with a few whoops and hollers from Eve’s team. Captain Forester hands over the certificate of the award with the left hands and shakes with the right, as he exchanges a few words with Eve.
“Proud of you SGT Sydney. You’ve been through hell and back, but you are one strong bone.”
“Thank you, sir. It’s all in the job.”
Once the hand shake ends, Eve salutes once more in a professional manner and returns to her spot in the formation.
“At ease!” recalls the commander. The formation rests as Forester continues to speak.
“Soldiers, I cannot thank you enough for the outstanding job you have done to complete the tasks requested by our government. I could not ask for any one better than the person you all see when you all look into the mirror every night before you lay your head to rest. Regardless of everyone’s religion, I have prayed day and night during our mission here for all of you guys. God must have heard them, because we are blessed without any casualties so far in this deployment, but do not let this factor put your guard down. We still have one week left before our asses are on a plane and get the hell out of here, so please stay alert until we are up in the air and heading home.”
The captain adjust his standing to attention, then the commander continues his demands.
“Company, attention!”
The rest of the formation stands at attention and replies, “Hooah!”
“I’m proud of each and every one of you. Keep it up.”
 Forester looks across his soldiers left to right before revealing his last command, “Fallout!”
The commander turns around and heads to his tent in the distance. The company falls out as six of the soldiers surround Eve and congratulates her for her award. Eve returns with smiles and high fives.