Close-Mindedness Is More Common Than You Think

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/zxskO1LwnTU&source=uds<— I am curious how many individuals disapprove of Macklemore's performance at the Grammy's. Do you disapprove because YOUR bible says so? You know the one God "wrote?" Or do you disapprove of it because a STRAIGHT guy from the majority pot is standing up for the LGBT community? -Or my bad – the Lesbian/Gay community and "equal rights."

I can relate to Macklemore with this song to a point. My thoughts and curiosity came later in life due to a few people in high school telling me who I was and I was idiotic enough to believe them, because I didn’t know better, nor did I ever experience the world past the small hick towns I grew up in, until my senior high school. Thank you to my teacher, Mrs. Perry, for the NYC trip, experience, and opportunity for me to open the door to a bigger world!
NEWSFLASH! The “lesbian” phase didn’t stop my attraction from men, ever! It was never really just a “lesbian” phase either; fore I had my share of boyfriends AND girlfriends in high school and in the military. Does everyone know my detailed history on my personal relationships? No. Does everyone need to know the detailed history, uh no. That’s beside the point. The point is for this blog post is what I came across on the Facebook feed today. This video:

Now, a lot of gays/lesbians would disagree about the outrage against Macklemore, but I can see the possibilities of this happening. Maybe my viewpoints are a bit biased, but my experience(s) and quite a few of my other friends within the LGBT community can probably do it justice as well. I didn’t distant myself from the community due to my own personal choices and changes. Nor did I distant myself due to the calling of God and religion. I distant myself due to the arrogants of some of the people who feel that if you aren’t gay or lesbian, you don’t belong in the community.

I don’t know if it’s a competition problem within the community or what, but sadly the LGBT community is more broken within itself, than it is with the rest of the world. I’ve come across more straight folks who accept transgenders/transsexuals, bisexuals, especially myself and my past, more than I have come across open-mindedness of gays or lesbians.

I also benefit from a family who never disowned me, during my phase of the unknowing of myself. I didn’t always get everyone’s support, but the unconditional love always remained in my family.

For those who doesn’t have that luxury, I do apologize and pray that you find a beautiful extended/adopting family who can take you in and love you and support you unconditionally, because no one should live in this world, alone. For the families who has the balls and disgrace of disowning a child or a family member just because they may be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual, fuck you!

Now, everyone knows I’m an activist for equal rights for all of my minority friends, whether they are gay, lesbian, transsexual, bisexual, African American, Hispanic, Latin, etc. Why, since I was basically outcasted when I chose the road I wanted in the relationship department in my small community? Basically because of the cliche, just because there are a few bad apples in a tree, doesn’t make the whole tree bad. If it wasn’t for my “extended” family in the LGBT community, who has excepted me for who I am and always been by my side through the dark hours of my life, I probably too would be full of hate for the whole community, myself. 

Bottom line: The people in my life have helped me realize that hate is not apart of me, nor will ever be regardless what may come in any situation. I will continue to stand for equal rights, regardless of anyone’s argument on this matter.

And for the individuals who discriminate within the LGBT community, you have no right too. In order to earn respect, you have to give it. In order for the community to be a whole, you have to learn to co-exist, before you can co-exist with the rest of the world. I hope this blog finds you forgiveness and love. Reality has spoken.

Until next time…

See… What Had Happened Was…

All jokes aside for a minute. A debate with an ex of mine, who I actually met, via online, via MySpace, about eight years ago had inspired this blog. Mind you, if I never experienced the advice I am about to give through the life I lead, it wouldn’t be really efficient. Would it?

Note, before I was even civil with this particular ex, we went through hell and back, regardless of the side you want to take on the events. It took YEARS to just end the love/hate relationship with the drama it involved and just be mutual without the jealousy and soap opera episodes.

Due to these experiences, I firmly found the belief of letting relationships flow naturally and not online dating, so to speak. It took a few rounds on social networking to wake up to the fact, but this day and age, you won’t see me getting flustered by not finding “the one” over an online dating profile. The fact I am focused on getting my own life together permanently has also been my priority.  If someone was meant to be in your life permanently, it’ll happen in your journey outside of the internet whelm. The fact that I keep more in touch with those I have met outside of the social world and in person, exes included, than those I have met through MySpace or other networks should tell you enough of how my life is lived.

Now let me clarify, I am not completely against networking online. I am actually very blessed to have the opportunities to connect with the individuals, mostly business relevant, I have come across through social media and keep in touch with my friends across the world. It would be hypocritical of me to say… “Hey, I am totally against the internet!”… When with my own career I’m trying to plant a foundation for, provides umpteen amounts of internet services, hours, and marketing to get my name and works out across the world. Networking in my field is very important, but again, it’s business, not personal. Not everyone is capable of differentiating those two.

However, there is a just to this whole speculation. Online dating sites or using the internet primarily for relationship purposes. Yeah, they bring more relationships together, but can someone tell me the statistics of how many of those relationships stick out in the end or the percentage of online dating and marriage draws divorces?

That was another portion of the debate. As I am one who is very spectacle of marriage and the meaning of it in this day and age. Paper, pen, and money. That’s all that’s valued in a marriage anymore, that is why I don’t believe in it, for the most part. I don’t see myself walking down an aisle in a white gowned dress in the future, even though I have friends who claim I will.

Another thing I don’t understand is honestly, how does one fall for just a two-dimensional profile of one’s account on either dating sites, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc. If I could go back and remember, I was ignoring the red flags of an individual and paying more attention to the surveys and questionnaires of someone to see the compatibility rating.

If you are doing that at this moment, please stop. If not, I understand that in life, to each their own. From my own experience, that’s how I fell so easily in the past. Pictures may say a 1,000 words, but they can also say a 1,000 lies at the same time.

It’s not only easy to photo shop nowadays, it’s also easy for one to fill out fake information than to be honest and upfront from the beginning. I think Brad Paisley’s song, “Online.” has a better visual on that argument. I have come across individuals on dating sites and other social websites that are hesitant on the realism of their own lives. It’s hard not to question those individuals or even trust them, when online, they don’t have any reality to show. Especially when those individuals avoid meet and greets with a number of people, for whatever reason they seem to display at the time and day.

Nowadays, if I do come across a new individual via internet, I am very cautious. I ONLY have ONE personal account, so don’t ask me via Google+ or Twitter if I am single or not, or, for my phone number, because you won’t have it. Like I said in a previous paragraph, it’s business. On my marketing accounts, I  portray as little of my personal life, or clarification of my relationship statuses, as much as possible. I know how social networking can easily portray insecurity and misapprehension to one person or a couple and destroy the relationships. I see it daily. So, I keep those particular two parts of my life out of the spotlight for the safety, privacy, and respect for those in my life to the best of my abilities.

The rest of the personal events I throw in my art is primarily for inspirational and motivational purposes. I am a combat veteran with PTSD, I have been bullied in school, etc.. etc. I am publicizing my artistic abilities to be a beckon, or a lighthouse, so to speak, for those lost ships that are out battling the same tides that I am currently or had fought in the past. Main focus is to awake those who struggle in life that suicide is not the answer. Never is. Nothing else. My Eminem phase is over. I want to inspire lives with the best way I know how too. That’s through my writing and art.

Now let me end this note on Brad Paisley’s “Online”…

My Own Personal Wisdom, Humor, & Inspirational Quotes

I wanted to share my quotes I’ve written in the past year or so to my audience beyond the Facebook whelm and into the world, where ever you may have access to me.  What better way to first express them than through my own blog site? Reaching out to individuals who may be having a bad day, or enjoy paying it forward like as I do, is the purpose I have discovered. So I continue on with my own personal wisdom I have occupied throughout my short life hood I have already experience. This post will also give you a feel of the direction of my poetry and messages I want to expose to the rest of the world as the mainstream continues to reveal the chaos. I hope you enjoy the quotes, humor, and inspiration. I also hope it motivates your view on your life and how you see the world.

  • Life: It’s all about your journey. The path you find is of multiple directions. You will come across a number of people throughout your life, but very few, the true, will stay in your corner. Others will try to tear your heart apart. Those will also try to poison you with hatred. Stay guarded, yet expect very little from the majority that pass you by. Love those who fill you with life, love, & laughter. Prevent the negative emotions to become unstable by surrounding yourself with positivity. Hold your ground. Think before you speak. Relax your tensions before you react. But most importantly, go out to the world with an open mind, open arms, and understanding. Live life fearlessly.
  • I don’t care if I am touching the lives of a hundred or just one person. As long as I am touching lives, period. I am my own doing my thing, regardless and no one can stop me. I have full control of the wheel.
  • I’m switching “issues” over to “blessings” from this day on. Without struggles and pain, wouldn’t be vulnerability. Without vulnerability, wouldn’t be my artistic abilities.
  • All I can say to you is, from my experience, write from the heart. You can’t go wrong. Nothing wrong with putting a little more influential topics out into this fragile world. It’s an amazing feeling when people come to you and tell you how you have influenced their life! It’s good fuel for your purpose in life.
  • Artists are never on time, but always fashionably late.
  • Revelations: Agreeing to disagree isn’t easy. Especially when it comes up against your beliefs, but you know what is truly remarkable!? When a supporter/fan of your work reaches out to you and continues to enjoy your work even if you believe in different lifestyles, religious beliefs, & social issues. I can’t tell you how to live your life, but I ask for the possibility to allow me to share with you the picture I see in the eyes of the universe through my philosophy, poetry, & photography. And for that opportunity, I will love you just the same as all my other supporters/fans from any other walks of life.
  • Education is valid for the topics you’re passionate about.
  • Media:I don’t care which side of the fence you are about the situation, bottom line, we can’t make a horse drink the water even if we lead it to an ocean. Society is changing daily. We need to adjust to the change and learn to also adjust to those who aren’t on the same expressway as some of us are on. Not everyone will ever agree on one religion, on one political stance, on one social issue, we need to accept the diversity and cultures. America is known as a melting pot, meaning not everyone is going to agree on each others lifestyles. We just need to learn to respect them. Not saying … was in the right, but the media and people feeding into the unnecessary dilemma aren’t making it better either.
  • The pursuit of happiness doesn’t happen until you are firmly ready from within.
  • The Arctic Vortex, eh? Can we also get the polar bears and penguins!? How about some walruses?
  • You’d be a fool if you give in on those days you want to just hang up your towel. Look within and look for those you are touching with your inspiration. Look for those who remind you and appreciate you and take the time to keep reminding you of your purpose in life. The best is yet to come. Stand up!
  • I try to find the good, even in the worst of the worst situations.
  • Observations: I been observing my return to the artist industry. Call it as you will. Since my introduction in the social networking in 2006, I have found new friends, I have lost old friends, I have noticed loyalty also with old friends and new friends combined. I have also learned hardships and flaws, unfortunately the hard way with the fake people that have come and gone across my life. I have grown and accepted that not everyone will approve of my decisions nor my past that has helped me grow into the human being I have become in this crazy world. I have had my ups. I have had my downs. I have had my own chaos in my life. I have had my own failures. I have also had my own successes. But one thing remains true in this journey called life, I remain as real and curious of the mysteries and discoveries as much as I can as I evolve into the person my heart tells me to be and remain. Once a caterpillar stuck in my cocoon, I spread my wings as a monarch butterfly and fly.
  • I wish humanity would just stop the nonsense of arguing and hating on each other just because they don’t agree on one small thing. Learn to get along!
  • If you see success in my future, the same success I am striving for, it’s because you all kept believing and loving me.
  • I will live a long and prosperous life. Crap.
  • Struggles: Life seems to be poking me in the butt and teasing me with unfortunate bullshit right now, but I am blessed for I have goals and plans, already brewing in my mind, to come right around from the unpleasure of it. I thank God and my guardian angel for the strength and knowledge of what to do next in my life to keep pushing after my dreams. Embrace what you do have and utilize it, what you don’t have is not what you need to focus on at the moment.
  • When you find the words from the heart and exploit it, never can you go wrong.
  • Teamwork: I don’t always promote myself, I promote who I consider is my team. Without a team, without a support base, you are nothing. In order to build one, you have to go out and network and bond with people who believe in you as much as you believe in them.
  • God and Mother Earth has a way with karma. Be cautious with what you give out into the world. What you give is what you get.
  • I don’t always say the right words, but trust…

    …My heart is always in the right place.

  • Mirror: All I ask is for all of us to learn how to forgive. I would never ask for you to forget; remember yesterday and where it has lead you, to today, to who you see in the mirror looking back at you. Regardless of how much, big or small, you have grown or evolved, you still have. Don’t ever think you aren’t getting anywhere in life, because at the end of the day, you have farther than where you have been the moment you woke up. It has given us lessons to learn to live for the present, not for the past; fore yesterday is gone and dead in the water. But today, today, is for you to win in glory! And if you can’t forgive, than you aren’t merely part of humanity, for we all make mistakes whether you realize it or not.
  • Focused on the present moment, the right now, the day known as today. Come what may, because I’m living for me and what’s good for my heart.
  • My tire got nailed this morning and not in a good way. The rubber broke.
  • Chronic Illness: I’ve been down that hollow road before. I may not be as deep as I was, but it’s still a challenge to climb sometimes. It’s not a light switch you can just turn on or off. I wish people could understand that one factor. It’s a war against the demons that reside in my soul. I’m still fighting and will continue the fight, but I can’t do it alone. I just wish I had more support. For those who walk, not in front, not behind, but by my side, I thank you.
  • Be yourself. The right people, who belong in your life, will love you for it.
  • If you want to remain in pursuit of your happiness, give without any expectations. Expectations destroys the heart.
  • Evolution: Allow yourself to evolve. Allow yourself to grow. We are not giant stones. We were made to roam this beautiful Earth. But, don’t mistaken roaming with being greedy. Just let it be and involve yourself with what ‘Mother’ has to offer without destroying her beauty.
  • I am not one to sugar coat shit when it comes to advice, because my life has never been sugar coated. If you are offended by what I say even if it is with good intentions, then maybe it’s true. Think.
  • The biggest downside of being too independent with life and not having a boyfriend is not having the pleasure of randomly receiving flowers. Gah! Poop!
  • Dear Sweatpants & Hoodies,

    Thanks for always being there for me.

    Sincerely,
    Sexy And I Know It, But
    To Lazy To Show It

  • Beauty: I, myself, use to think I was ugly. I hated what image the mirror showed me in its image… It took years for me to accept myself as a whole. My image, my past, my present, my gifts God has given me to excel towards my future. What I found out is, we are all beautiful in our own ways. My beauty comes from having my own style, living my own life, and having my own mind. Remember this key factor in life and the sun will brighten your aura and let you shine too.
  • We create originality. Copy cats not allowed!
  • My life is like a Babe Ruth candy bar. It can be a bit nutty sometimes.
  • Must be willing to open your mind & skill set to achieve greatness.
  • Confessions: Singing for karaoke is something I’m use to. it comes naturally for me. But when it comes to reading my own poetry on a mic, I get flustered sometimes. There are no words that can explain the adrenaline and butterflies in my internal system that arouses when I am on stage about to read my own piece that I have written fully from the heart. None the less, it’s still a beautiful exposure to get the words that tell my stories out to my audience.
  • Art is my therapy for the tribulations I have experienced in my life.
  • Changes are necessary when it comes to one’s happiness.
  • Promises: I was told recently that promises are meant to be broken. I feel many believe in this stature, because just like, “I love you” the phrase, “I promise” gets thrown around like a box of donuts nowadays. In my belief system, promises are sacred and are not meant to be broken. That is why this world is full of disappointments. People abuse this phrase like they abuse, “I love you.” That is why I only make very few promises in life and those are the ones I know I can follow through with one day. I may not be able to make a promise and make it happen overnight, but I promise you this, the promises I do make, become my short-term and long-term goals in life.
  • Dear men-er-boys;

    Talk with your mind, not with your penis. You are confusing your heads again. You must have forgotten you were talking to a woman.

  • Changes: Evolving and growth, it’s a lifelong experience if you want life to be filled in full.
  • Keep your friends close & your enemies closer. False! That’s one way to live a miserable life, having to always watch your back. Surround yourself with the right people who love you and no one can drown you or stop you from your mission in life.
     
  • Sobriety: I can either hit my problems, failures, and concequences for my choices head on or run away from them towards alcohol and numb myself. I still have to live for my past choices, but I remain truthful with my sobriety and in return try harder to succeed.
  • Keep smiling. You never know what your smile can do for a person.
  • Don’t confuse my shyness with insecurities, because I’ll guarantee if there is one thing I’m secured about, it’s myself and my character.
  • I went from a “child” who thought she knew everything to an “adult” who is curious to see how we can change the world into a better place. Don’t talk about wanting the world to change if you don’t do nothing about it. Walk the walk, my friends. Walk the walk.
  • The only reason why humanity is “cursed” with war and violence is because we believe it. Once we believe in love and peace as a whole, the world will change its ways.
  • I wish I could run as fast as I can wash, rinse, and sanitize dishes.
  • Facebook wants me to post my address to update my contact information.

    My reply: Fuck you.

  • Forgiveness: Through my short life, I have accepted that we all make mistakes. I have made a shit ton, fore we are only human. To truly live in prosperity, you need to learn forgiveness through and through, not just with others who have done you wrong, but also with yourself and the wrongs you have done or you will live your life with misery and that is not fun. I also learn to hold the reigns on my heart to a point to allow myself to give love to this world, but at the same time, be cautious as to not have such high expectations. High expectations become high disappointments. Words are words, if you see her gestures are thorough with love and support in your relationship, than you know. Actions and honesty should stand out with the apologizes to know who is true to their heart.
  • We can’t always have what we want. We can’t always have what we wish for. But we can be content with the life we have.
  • I’m like a magnet, gays are my refrigerator. I just pfft.. stick right on.
  • Influence: It’s not about the fame. It’s not about a face to the name. It’s about having a positive influence on a person’s life like my heroes have done for me. Even if I’m only influencing one person, it’s still better than none. Not everyone wants to hear your stories, but that doesn’t mean for you to stop telling them. It’s not up to the critics on what you have to give out into this world, it’s up to you. All I ask is to stay true to yourself.
  • Teaser for "Psychological Demons"


     I will not reveal the part of the story this teaser is from, but here is a sneak peak of one of the novel projects on my list. A suspense/drama about a female combat veteran fighting her psychological war, as she tries to keep her relationship with her father alive. You can find the rest of the synopsis under the “Projects Wall” tab. Hope you enjoy it!
                The alarm clock’s neon light blanketed throughout the bedroom, as it displays 05:30am. The door is cracked open, with a bit of light from the hallway shining through the small space. In a blink of an eye, the alarm goes off. A man’s hand reaches out from the quilts, from the bed, as it firmly presses on the snooze button on the alarm. More features are revealed from the bed as the man slowly makes his way up and stretches to start the day. Superb details of his features rain in like melody with the ashy hair with small highlights of his remaining brunette roots, and the deep blue-grayish eyes. Just as the alarm clock goes off again, the man, known as Joe Sydney, beats to the snooze button and then turns off the alarm settings.
                Joe makes his way across his room, as he heads out towards the hallway. He follows the lights down to a second bedroom, cracks upon the door and peaks in. The queen-size bed has been ruffled, but yet not made as if someone has awoken from their slumber. Joe then turns his head towards the dining room area and hears clashing of pots and pans in the kitchen. He smirks at the productive noise and heads on down towards the racket.
                In the kitchen is a young woman, in her mid-twenties. As Joe turns the corner, he comes to the discovery of the lady attempting to make breakfast. The woman, Eve Sydney, is startled a bit from Joe.
                “Dad! I didn’t mean too…” As Eve tries to apologize, Joe cuts her off.
                “It’s okay, sweetheart. Good morning.”
                Joe makes his way to kiss Eve on the forehead and embrace her.
                “Dad, I’m not a child.” Eve squirms away from her dad’s morning love.
                “You know, if you reserve that love for a woman, you may be able to get a girlfriend in your life.” Eve continues on with a witty comment and a smile.
                “Ouch, that hurts.” Joe replied with a sarcasm remark and a smirk of his own. “So what are you making?”
                “Omelets. Just the way you taught me, or tried.”
                Both look at the pan with the omelets, filled with mushrooms and spinach, but nowhere near the awesomeness of Joe’s craft with his chef skills. Joe notices coffee is made in the coffee pot, grabs a cup from the cupboard right above, and pours him a cup as he also continues on the lovely morning conversation.
                “At least you make better coffee than me.”
                Eve starts laughing and replies with, “Dad, you are ridiculous.”
                “What?”
                “Well, I tried.” Eve continues, as she grabs a plate from the cupboard and dishes the hot mess of an omelet, which by now looks like a scramble of some sorts that’s overcooked. Joe willingly grabs the plate, along with his black coffee, and makes his way to the dining room table.
                “It’s the thought that counts, hon.” Joe replied.
                Eve makes her way to the coffee pot and grabs a coffee cup from the cupboard, but this isn’t just an ordinary coffee cup, it is one that she purchased while being deployed to Iraq. As she examines the broken handle and faded décor, a flashback hits her.
    Eve is joy-riding around the Green Zone in Iraq, with a couple of male comrades, on her downtime from her duty shift. As they come up to a round-about, their smiles and jokes quickly turn to blank stares as they spot a local national digging on the side of the road. With no hesitations, the driver pulls over, but keeps the truck running.
    “Stay here, Eve.” The driver insisted.
    As both the male soldiers slowly make their way, pistols pulled from their holsters, towards the man. The man drops his shovel and starts running away from the two soldiers, but with their speed, the two are able to quickly catch up and tackle the man, cuff and blinded the suspect. As this event occurs, Eve watches from the truck.
    As the soldiers and suspect return to the truck, the driver throws the man in the back with Eve and hands her his loaded pistol with the instructions,
    “If he moves one inch, shoot him.”
    Eve suddenly feels a nudge and comes back to the present day. She sees her father on her side with concern.
    “Are you okay?”
    Eve shakes off the flashback and puts the coffee cup in the trash and grabs a new one from the cupboard, as she quickly changes the subject.
    “It was time to move on from that cup anyways.”
    As Eve continues to make her coffee, her father observes her behavior.
    “So, you go back to your treatment tomorrow?” Joe insists in continuing on the conversation. Eve replies, “Unfortunately.”
    She avoids eye contact by looking down and fiddles with her newly filled coffee cup.

    Keep Building On Your Foundation of Dreams, Find Refreshing Opportunities

    2014 is already hitting the good life. I am one who loves to promote my team. I am not just speaking about the #CCIU team. I am speaking on any artists I find are potential worthy and hard working. Also, artists that are not too arrogant with their skills. The beautiful thing is, what you give into this world, is what you will receive. That goes with careers, dreams, & relationships.

    With that being said, I am happy to announce that I have had the opportunity to join forces with We Poets Show It, as one of their administration members on their Facebook page. If you have not heard of the site, the crew are a few poets who came together and had the idea to promote art of all sorts like poetry, short stories, music, photography, etc. More details are revealed on the website, www.wepoetsshowit.com. It’s a bright network connection and very organized. Huge kudos to those you are part of the team!

    After my own submissions on the page & my own good Samaritan promotions to get these beautiful people on board and exposed, I’m added to the team. I love this. Why? It shows me that art is NOT constraint as people want to believe. You just need to know where to find and look for the art you want to possess and expose to the world! This is a revolution the world prefers to see. Artists making their own footprints in the sand. Whether the names shine through during their lifetime or maybe the names will shine through more later with future generations.

    All I know, my year is already lined up to be a busy one.  If I can do all of this amazing work towards my dreams, you can too! Get with the dreamers! The picture will brighten in your vision sooner than you think. You can’t receive if you don’t give out to the world without expectations. Also, if you lose out on expectations in life, your heart will go along with the rest of the world a lot better! Share your smile to those who need it. Inspiration is what keeps us all moving, individually and as a team!

    Until Next Time…