This Is My Life’s Mixtape.

Last January I made my deployment soundtrack that defines my emotions and the physical and mental pain I went through. Almost a year later, I finally decided that I need to do more of these blogs, because more than anything, music is a huge part of my life and even a bigger influence for my poetry writing. It’s tough to find songs that define a majority of your life and the journey you have traveled, but I have searched and found the best. I wouldn’t doubt as I age and grow more that it’ll change or more additions will be added.  It isn’t about the genre of music, but it’s about the story behind the lyrics that leads me to my top favorite tracks and how I can relate to the lyrics through my own life trials, tribulations, and overcoming the events towards victory and control. Here we go!

“Mayberry” by Rascal Flatts

  • One of the top tracks that reminds me of where I come from. Also, getting my first guitar at the age of 16. I do wish I focused more on my music as a younger lass, but adolescent challenges took it away from me. Of course, I only have myself to blame, but from time to time I do pick up my current six-string and attempt to play it. I am starting to miss my clarinet skills as well.  I put my instruments down way too early in my life.    

“Heart of Gold” by James Blunt     

“And she sings, I want to know what love is    
But it seems to come with so much pain    
No one wants to show me    
It seems easier just to run away    
When I am gone it’s just a penny for my soul    
But God he knows, I got a heart of gold”

  • Regardless of my own various relationship trials, I remain with a heart of gold. Just don’t take my kindness for weakness, because I will stand up for myself, fore I respect myself to become a doormat unlike the desperate search I use to be on younger as a fool.

“One of the Guys” by Terri Clark
My brother taught me how to throw a curve ball,  
The cheerleadin’ thing never felt quite right. 
When it comes to high fashion I hit a brick wall,  
This girl’s just one of the guys…   

I’m still a lady looking for the right man,  
But he’s gotta take me, just the way I am.”

  • I embrace my tomboy ways, as I was raised around two older brothers. Don’t let my “toughness” fool you, because I am still a lady looking for the right man, just like Canada’s country artist, Terri Clark.

“Everything” by Alanis Morissette

  • No matter the changes in my life, my family has had my back since I was a little girl. I may not be the easiest person to get along with at times, due to my flaws. But I am blessed for the love I get from my immediate family and the extended family that offers their hand to me. I do my best to give back as much love as I have received when it comes to the backbone element in my life. Alanis couldn’t explain it any better. Plus, my brother had this song downloaded on my laptop when it was sent to me while I was stationed in Iraq. This song is dearly to my heart.

“Read All About It” by Professor Green f/ Emeli Sande

“Only thing was I never saw enough of you  
Last thing I said to you was I hated you, 
I loved you but now it’s too late to say to you  
Just didn’t know what to do and how to deal with it,  
Even now deep down I’m still livid   
To think, I use to blame me  
I wonder what I did to make you hate me”

  •   British artist, Professor Green, lyrically explains perfectly the love/hate relationship a child has with a parent and with themselves when that parent walks out of their lives for their own selfish reasons.

“September” by Daughtry
“Has it all gone to waste?    
All the promises we made  
One by one they vanish just the same

Of all the things I still remember  
Summer’s never looked the same  
The years go by and time just seems to fly  
But the memories remain”
  • September has always been my “New Year” kind of month throughout most of my life. Whether it’s starting any type of school, coming home from war, walking away from unhealthy relationships, etc. September has always been where a new chapter in my life has started or ended.

“Heartland” by George Strait

  • We all have that one movie that defines our childhood. That one movie we still today put on repeat in the DVD player, Netflix, etc. The King of Country himself, George Strait, with his movie, Pure Country is mine. And the song “Heartland” is another humble reminder of how music for me needs to tell a story and how I was raised mainly on the best country music ever invented, as well as, in the heartland of America.

Until Next Time,

©H.M. Gautsch

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